The Collective Years
by PhDelicious
Summary: They grew up together, but will they grow old together? SJ AU. Finished, finally!
1. Moving Day

**The Collective Years  
****1: Moving Day: The First Meeting  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** I own no part of Stargate SG1, even those which have been borrowed to play a part herein. I promise I'll put everyone back where they belong, just like I did last time.

**A/N:** So…I plan to do this as a collection of one shots or so, in more or less chronological order, hitting some of the turning points of what Sam and Jack experienced during their time in the Collective. Obviously this will make more sense if you've read the rest of the Collective Cycle, though you could just start here and go back to the others. And now without further ado…

* * *

Sam

Samantha Carter was excited. Today she was going to see her family's new house for the first time. Even better she was going to get to see her dad again. Her father's company had transferred him across country three months ago. He'd left Sam and her brother Mark with their mother to finish up the school year and moved to the east coast to get things set up. This morning the three Carters had boarded a plane and headed east. They were going to be landing soon. The pilot had already put on the fasten seatbelt sign.

"Please turn off and stow all electronics and then put your seatbacks and tray tables in the upright and locked position for our final descent into Newark International airport."

_Almost there. This is going to be soooo much fun. I just wish Grace and her family could have come with us and I wish Mark would stop squirming. He's taking up half of my seat as well as all of his. How come I had to sit in the middle?_

oOo

Despite what her mother had told them about airport security Sam was still disappointed that her Dad hadn't been waiting for them when they stepped off the plane. But now she could see him, standing on the far side of the security set up. Her hand slipped from her mother's and she ran the last few yards, winding herself between the crush of people shuffling through the gateways.

"Dad…Dad!"

"Hey Sammie baby! It's good to see you again kiddo."

Jacob Carter embraced Sam in a bear hug.

"I think you've grown again."

"Nah, you just forgot how big I was. Mark's the one who's been growing according to Mom."

"Speaking of…"

Jacob released Sam to hug the rest of his family.

"Let's go get your bags. It'll take a little over an hour to get to the house from here."

* * *

Jack

_It's hockey time! _

Jack O'Neill loved being included in the hockey games that neighborhood high school guys played in the street just in front of his house. Despite the fact that he was one of the youngest guys in the game he was often chosen first when they formed teams. Jack grabbed his stick and roller blades from the garage and headed outside. A large moving van was parked in front of the house across the street blocking their normal playing area.

"Hey George. Looks like we're going to have to shift over a little bit."

"Apparently. It's going to be hard to avoid the potholes."

"Maybe we should just make them the goals."

"Good call. All right guys, let's get this set up."

The goals were set up and teams were chosen. It was a well matched game. The group had been playing together long enough to make the teams even.

_I love this sport, but god it can hurt sometimes._

Jack quickly stretched some aching muscles and looked around.

_Wow, we've been playing for a long time._

"Next goal wins?"

George's question received affirmative nods from the majority of the group, and everyone buckled down with renewed energy. Jack went on the offensive, skating towards the other team's goal with the ball. His shot was knocked away by the goalie and play headed back in the other direction. The sound of a car coming down the road distracted Jack, but when it parked behind the moving van instead of continuing down the street he turned back to the game. Most of the other guys were crowded in front of his team's goal leaving him unguarded. When his team recovered the ball Jack slapped his stick on the pavement to call attention to himself. The ball slipped between the other players and Jack was off skating as fast as he could down the street. He could feel another player coming up behind him and just as he was about to shoot the ball someone slammed into him.

_OW! Damn it that hurt!_

Jack pushed himself up from the pavement and onto his knees. He shook his head and looked at his raw palms. Just beyond them were two pairs of sneakers. Jack followed the jeans that topped the sneakers to a well worn t-shirt capped by a blond halo.

_She looks like an angel. I bet she's a handful._

"Nice shot but you wouldn't have fallen if your center of gravity had been lower to the ground. I'm Samantha, but you can call me Sam. This is my brother Mark. What's your name?"

_Oh yeah, I was right._

"I'm Jack."

Mark reached a hand out to help Jack up.

"That was some header there man. If you guys always play that rough I'm going to need to get some new pads."

"You should get those scrapes cleaned. I bet my mom has some stuff that's not totally packed away."

"Actually, that's my house right across the street. I'll just get my mom to do it. You guys want to come over?"

Jack eyed the siblings. Sam looked up at Mark for a moment. He nodded and she trotted off to ask their mother.

* * *

Sam

_Great, more hockey players. Mark's going to be so happy. I don't see any girls around. I'm sure there are some somewhere._

"Mom?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Can Mark and I go across the street to Jack's?"

"Who's Jack?"

"He's the guy who just scrapped himself up playing hockey. I said you'd fix him up, but he said he'd just get his mom to do it since he lives across the street. He invited us over."

Sam's mom sighed looked around at the movers and nodded.

"You don't want to go in and see the house first?"

"Nah, Dad sent all those pictures. Besides we've got plenty of time to get to know the house."

"You have plenty of time to get to know the kids around here too. Go ahead; just don't over stay your welcome. Make sure your back in time for dinner. I'm going to order pizza."

"Okay Mom."

Sam walked back over to the two boys who were now deep in conversation about hockey.

"Mom says we can go, but we're supposed to come back for dinner."

"Good. I'll just go get my shoes."

Jack skated across the street, plopped down on the curb, flinching slightly as he hit the ground and pulled a pair of sneakers from the haphazard pile. He winced slightly as he moved to switch his shoes for the roller blades.

"Here, let me take those."

Mark picked Jack's discarded roller blades up off the ground. Jack leaned heavily and used his hockey stick to lever himself from the curb. Sam stepped up to his side and offered her shoulder. Instead of placing a hand on her nearest shoulder Jack slung his arm around her.

"Thanks Samantha."

The threesome walked together across Jack's front yard. The boys deep in conversation and Jack limping slightly as he leaned on Sam, who was avidly studying her surroundings including the guy she was currently tucked up against.

**

* * *

The Beginning.**


	2. Moon Lit Moments

**The Collective Years  
****2: Moon Lit Moments  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** As always I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

**A/N:** I suppose you should go read "The Visit" at least before reading this. I'm basing this work on incidents referenced therein and haven't really taken the time to fully explain the character's relative ages, etc. here. Part I of this chapter takes place during the first holiday season after 'Moving Day'.

* * *

**I**

Sam

_I love Christmas. Snow, no school, and presents, what's not to love? I'm glad we're going home though. I can't wait to show Cassie my new camera. She'll love all the old fashioned adjustable stuff. Almost home._

The Carter's car turned off the highway and onto the road which would take them home from the airport. They'd gone on a quick to visit their grandparents for Christmas and were now returning for a New Year's Eve party the next day at the O'Neill's.

"Hey Mom…what's the plan for the party tomorrow?"

"We've been invited to dinner at the O'Neill's at 6 pm and we're expected to stay until after midnight. I already told you this Mark."

"I know. I was wondering if it would be okay if Sam and I went over earlier to hang out with Jack."

"As long as his parents don't object and you don't get in the way I don't see why not. You can call when we get home."

"Thanks Mom."

_I wonder if Jack got anything cool for Christmas._

* * *

Jack

"Now, slide pole A into pole B and install spring lock as shown in Figure 3. Next…geez! …I didn't realize telescopes required soo much assembly."

Jack sighed and stood to stretch. He'd been puttering around trying to put together the telescope he'd gotten for Christmas for the last half hour and he was getting nowhere fast. It seemed as if the pieces were multiplying while he worked so that every time he put something together something new appeared.

_Maybe I should just get Samantha to do it when the Carters get back. I can't believe she's better than me at this stuff and she's four years younger than I am. It's embarrassing. Darn girl's way too smart for her own good. Back to work? Nah…time for a break. I think I'll go play with the Gameboy._

* * *

Sam

Mark and Sam let themselves into the O'Neill's house, knocking as they went.

"Ah, hello kids. Did you have a nice trip? How are your grandparents?"

"Hi Mrs. O'Neill. The trip was good. Everyone's doing fine."

"Glad to hear it. Jack's up in his room doing Lord knows what. Go ahead on up, and take these with you."

Jack's mom handed Sam a bag of chocolate chip cookies and Mark a few cans of soda.

"Don't eat too much or you'll spoil your appetite for later, and we wouldn't want that."

"Thanks," Mark said over his shoulder as he and Sam headed upstairs.

When they got to the top Sam stood aside to let Mark knock on Jack's door. Mark gave her a questioning look and then knocked.

_He's not my best friend. I can't believe we've only lived here since the beginning of the school year. I feel like we've been doing this forever._

Jack peeked around the edge of his door.

"Oh good, it's just you two. You can come in. I don't want my Mom to see this mess. She'll have a fit. So, umm….Samantha could you maybe…"

Jack opened the door wide enough for Mark and Sam to enter and stepped back gesturing to the pile of telescope parts on his floor as he spoke.

"What is it?"

"Well it's supposed to be a telescope, but you have to put it together and I think the parts are reproducing."

Sam rolled her eyes.

_Sheesh! He's helpless. _

"All right. You and Mark go discuss whatever manly sports game was played most recently and I'll put together your present for you. But I want something in return."

"Name it."

"Show me what's so cool up there that you wanted to have the telescope working so badly that you tried to put it together yourself."

"Deal. Carter you interested?"

_Why do guys always feel compelled to call each other by their last names?_

"Nah. If I want to see stars I can go to a planetarium and not have to sit outside and freeze."

"Your loss."

Jack turned to look at Sam.

"So how bout sometime tonight? When the adults start to get boring? Assuming you can get it built before then."

"Are you questioning my skills?"

"Utoh."

Sam glared at her brother as he stepped between her and Jack, pretending to break up a fight.

"Well I did already have a go at it."

"And probably messed it up more than anything. I'll get your telescope built before dinner, don't worry. And when I do I think I deserve something special because you doubted me."

"What do you want this time?"

"Dunno. I expect you'll think of something."

Sam turned her back on the guys and started perusing the pile nuts, bolts, and rods lying on Jack's floor. She skimmed the assembly instructions and quickly discarded them.

_They really should have these written by people who can actually speak English. I wonder if the instructions are as bad in other languages._

oOo

It had only taken Sam about an hour to fix the mess Jack had made of his new telescope. She'd quickly gotten bored with the guys' repetitive argument about which football team was going to win the Super Bowl and gone downstairs to see if Mrs. O'Neill needed any help setting up for dinner or the party. Since then Sam had folded napkins, set tables, put out noise makers, eaten dinner with her family, and talked to most of the adults present. Now she was bored.

_Adults can be fun, but they're always so shocked that I can hold and intelligent conversation. Enough for tonight. The teenagers are worse. Flighty girls. What do guys see in them?_

Sam looked through the kitchen into the family room where Mark and Jack were sitting in the middle of a crowd of teenagers, most of whom were related to Jack in one way or another. The group sounded as if they were having a good time, though it was mostly feminine voices that carried through the house.

_Does Jack really enjoy this? I think its telescope time._

* * *

Jack

_Dear Lord! How long can you quiz a guy without getting bored? You'd think my cousins had never met a new person before. _

Jack rolled his eyes as one of his cousins asked Mark yet another question about something inane. He hadn't been paying enough attention to catch the question, but he was pretty sure he could've answered it.

_I wonder what Samantha's up to._

Jack looked up and around, searching for Sam. He caught her eye as she was heading down the short set of stairs into the room. Motioning for her to wait where she was Jack rose, excused himself from the group, and picked his way across the room to Sam.

"Ready to blow this Popsicle stand?"

Sam smiled up at Jack and nodded.

"Good. Stargazing time."

Jack turned Sam towards the stairs and gave her a gentle push to start her up them.

oOo

"So Jack, what's up there that's got you so fascinated?"

"There are so many things up there, more astronomical phenomena than you could count in a life time and they're all different. If there are that many stars, just imagine how many planets there must be. I bet there's somebody out there somewhere looking up at a night sky from one of those other planets and wondering the same thing."

"Or maybe they're on their way here to take over the world, eh Mulder?"

"Oh come on Samantha. Where's your sense of adventure? Your imagination?"

"It would be kinda cool."

"There you go. All right, now open this while I set up the 'scope."

Jack handed Sam a large square package.

* * *

Sam

The present was neatly wrapped in Simpsons paper with a bright red bow and lots of tape. It took Sam a few minutes to get it open and when she did she wasn't surprised to find a book. The surprise was the title of the book, _Nightwatch_. It was a beginner's guide to astronomy.

_Sweet!_

Sam looked at Jack expectantly.

"I figured you'd rope me into showing you how this worked sooner or later. Now you have your own guide I better not catch you 'borrowing' mine all the time. At least not until you have that one completely memorized"

He winked at her and motioned her over to the telescope.

"We're going to start out simple, with something so basic I don't even think it makes it into that book. There are few stars that remain constant in the night sky throughout the year. The North Star is one of them. In fact it is so constant that sailors used to use it to navigate. If you look over here…"

Sam followed Jack's hand as it tracked across the sky, quickly becoming completely enthralled with this new hobby.

**

* * *

II**

Sam

Sam was anxious. She was going to be alone with Jack for the first time since their fight, the first fight they'd had in the three years she'd known him. Of course it wouldn't have been so bad if she could remember a fight. As far as she knew the last time they'd hung out he'd nearly tickled her to death. Since then he'd spent the past few months avoiding her. She'd finally trapped him by his locker one day after school. She was still embarrassed at the way she'd broken down and nearly begged him to tell her what was wrong. He hadn't answered her question, but he'd promised to stop avoiding her and to start stargazing with her again.

_Go on Samantha…just knock on his door, well his parent's door anyways. He's not going to bite… at least not in front of his parents. You've got to do it sometime. Sooner is better than later and quick like a band-aid. It's going to hurt either way. How can it not when one of your best friends drops you without a warning? _

Sam took a deep breath and knocked on the O'Neill's back door.

* * *

Jack

The sound of Sam's knock made Jack want to hide.

_Crap! What am I going to do? Breathe Jack. Just don't think about it. Remember she has no idea what's going on. She's too young and too innocent to understand._

"Jack…Sam's here."

"Thanks Mom. Come on up."

Jack hollered down the stairs. In the silence that followed he could imagine his mother's disapproving sigh. Jack took a deep breath and steeled himself for Sam's appearance. There was a light tap on his door and then Sam stepped into sight, barely moving beyond his doorway.

_God she's beautiful. How can she be so fascinating when I know everything about her? Don't be an idiot Jack. You know everything about Samantha the child. Even she doesn't know Samantha the woman yet. Can't you see the poor girl's practically shaking? Say something!_

"Samantha…hi. I…well, umm…there's not really much I can say except I'm sorry and I'll try not to do it again."

Jack, desperate not to over talk, rushed through his apology and stopped speaking rather abruptly. Sam flinched slightly at the end and stared at the floor. The silence dragged on for long minutes before she finally spoke in a low whisper.

"Show me how to find the North Star, Jack. I think I've lost it."

_How does she know exactly what to say so that I can't refuse her?_

The sight of the tears preparing to spill combined with the tremor in Sam's voice caused Jack's protective instincts to come forward, over-riding the more recent burden of attraction.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry. Come here."

Jack opened his arms wide and took a step towards Sam. She responded by throwing herself into his embrace. Her arms slipped around his waist as she buried her head in his shoulder, tears no longer held back. Jack held her close with one arm and ran his other hand in long soothing strokes over her hair.

"Hush baby. It's okay. I'm sorry Samantha. I was so worried about myself I didn't think about how my decision would affect you. It'll be all right. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Never again. I promise."

Jack's words were a raspy whisper over Sam's head. A feeble attempt to restore a friendship he had almost ruined with guilt and one, he was beginning to realize, he couldn't afford to lose. As Sam's crying slowed Jack loosened his arm from around her. He smoothed his hand over her hair one last time, trailed it down her arm and wrapped his fingers loosely around her wrist. With a slight tug he pulled her behind him out onto the widow's walk where his telescope was set up.

Jack sat on the chair next to the telescope and pulled Sam onto his lap. He gently brushed away the last of her tears and then turned her to face away from him. Jack rested his chin on her shoulder and took her right hand in his. Lifting their arms Jack pointed towards the sky as he spoke.

"See these stars? Those seven stars make up the constellation called the Big Dipper. The line made by the last two stars in the Big Dipper points towards the North Star. Also known as the Pole Star, the North Star is the most constant star in the sky. Since it always appears in the same position people used to use it to figure out where they were. It is said that say you can set your heart by the North Star."

Content to let it rest at that Jack released Sam's hand and moved his arms to fully encircle her once more. Jack sighed once against her cheek and then the two sat in silence until Sam began to shiver.

* * *

Sam

Despite the warm arms around her and the heat radiating from Jack, Sam had been growing progressively colder. Now she could no longer conceal her shivering from Jack and her teeth were beginning to chatter.

"I think it's time to call it a night."

The feel of Jack's breath on her neck and cheek cause Sam to shiver again.

_Why does that do that? He's never made me shiver before. Could be because he's never held you like this before. I don't want to get up._

Jack lifted Sam gently from his lap and stood up beside her.

_Oh well. So much for not moving._

Taking her hand in his once again Jack led Sam back through his room and downstairs to the front door. He opened the front door and stepped outside onto the small front porch with Sam.

"Good night Samantha."

Jack kissed her lightly on the forehead and pulled back.

_Say something._

"Jack…thank you."

Impulsively Sam leaned forward and hugged Jack. For a long moment Jack remained still. Eventually however he pushed her away ever so slightly.

"I'll watch from here until you get home."

Sam nodded and began to walk away. Jack gave her hand one final squeeze and then, true to his word, he stood watch until she was safe inside her own house.

**

* * *

A/N 2: Reviews would be grand… because while I have many of the events I wish to write about outlined I don't have the chapters fully written and I may decide that I have no readers if there are no responses. As such if there are any incidents referenced in my other works that you would be especially interested in seeing me elaborate please indicate that in your review. Thanks.**

**Irrelevant Point:**I really like the chemistry between Daniel and Vala, but I spent this week's episode thinking, 'Sam would have figured it out by now.'


	3. Thanksgiving

**The Collective Years  
****3: Thanksgiving  
****PhDelicious**

**They grew up together, but will they grow old together?**

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, but if the check ever clears….

**A/N:** This takes place about 1 year before 'The Visit' but isn't mentioned in that story. I thought I'd throw in a little more angst before we got to the happy together chapter.

* * *

Sam

_I guess this wasn't exactly the best choice of movie._

Sam, Jack, Mark and an extended group of friends were currently the only people in the theater, which was a very good thing considering that not a single one of them was currently paying any attention to the onscreen reunion of Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis.

The evening had started out well enough, as it had taken less than 10 minutes for everyone to agree on what movie to go see. When they'd arrived at the theater the group had taken advantage of the space. Jack and his girlfriend Laria had chosen to sit in the very front. Sam was sitting with her best friend Cassie on one side of her and her boyfriend Jonas on the other, about midway back in the theater. Mark and T had Daniel boxed in a few rows behind that. Sam had been enjoying the movie and the feel of Jonas's thumb rubbing over the back of her hand until Daniel's sobs had become impossible to ignore.

Now the sobs had died down and Jack was huddled with Mark and T around Daniel while Jonas, Cassie and Laria leaned against the theater's wall. Sam perched on the last seat in the guys' row facing the others.

"What's going on with Daniel?" Cassie whispered.

Sam sighed. She didn't really want to answer and betray Mark's confidence, but given how bad things were going…

"The one year anniversary of Sharon's death is today."

"Sharon?"

This time Jonas voiced the obvious question.

"Daniel's high school sweet heart….car accident…she was on her way to pick Daniel up for Thanksgiving dinner with her family."

Sam gave an extended answer, anticipating her friends' next few questions.

"How sad."

The comment from Laria caused Sam to roll her eyes.

_Oh please. I can't believe she hasn't heard this before. She goes to school with them. She's dating Jack. Even if she didn't know Daniel last year, how can she not have noticed that he's been more withdrawn the past weeks? I noticed and I only really know Daniel through Mark and Jack's stories._

Laria sighed and slumped further back against the wall.

_I guess she's anxious to get going. I bet Jonas and Cassie are too._

Sam approached the group of guys and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. She raised an eyebrow in silent query when he looked at her. Jack shrugged, shook his head, and returned his attention to Daniel.

_Apparently this is going to take a while. There's really not much I can do around here, but I don't want to leave the guys alone. I suppose I could leave Laria with them, but that'd probably be worse. Samantha Carter, be nice! There is absolutely nothing wrong with Laria. Yeah Right! Then why can't you stand her?...You have no claim on Jack._

"Sam?"

Cassie's soft question interrupted her thoughts.

"Jonas…would you mind taking Cassie and Laria home, back to Jack's…whatever?"

"Ummm…sure. I guess….It's not really out of my way or anything. You're staying?"

"Yeah. I want to be here just in case…"

"All right. Have a good Thanksgiving. We still on for Friday night?"

"Yep."

Jonas leaned in to kiss Sam goodbye. At the last moment she turned her face so he only got her cheek.

"Take care baby," Jonas whispered in her ear.

"You too."

He pulled back and gestured for Cassie and Laria to precede him out of the theater. Sam watched the credits roll across the screen for a few moments as she collected her thoughts and braced herself to deal with Daniel.

_I can't believe she didn't even make a token protest about staying for Jack. What a bitch! What does he see in her?_

* * *

Jack

Jack's butt was going numb. Perching on the back of an old movie theater seat was not the most comfortable place to be. But since Mark and T occupied the seats to either side of his distraught friend it was the only place he could go while retaining the ability to maintain physical and eye contact with Daniel as necessary.

_Damn it! I was really hoping this wouldn't happen. Guess we shouldn't have picked a movie with a rather major character death._

A flood of relief rushed through Jack as he noticed Laria leaving out of the corner of his eye.

_She's really not a bad person, but she lives in her own little world most of the time, and she doesn't really get Daniel. I'm not sure I could have handled her and this breakdown right now. I should thank Samantha for her tact later. I'm impressed at how quickly she picked up on all this._

Jack spared a weary smile for Sam as she came to perch beside him, barely squeezing between Mark's legs and the row of seats in front of him. Daniel didn't break down very often anymore but when he did it was exhausting for everyone involved. Jack knew, from what Daniel had told him about the good times with Sharon that the relationship between the two had been a classic example of the fiery passion reserved for first loves; the kind that comes almost solely from hearts as yet unbroken. It was something that Jack envied his friend. To have had the chance at something so marvelous, so pure and untainted, was a rare gift even if it had ended tragically and Jack was sure someday Daniel would look back and consider it worth it. But right now Daniel was a mess and there was no way he was going to leave his friend to deal with things alone.

_Even so it's good that Samantha's here. The fact that she understands, but is distant enough to stay grounded when necessary. I think they're about to kick us out of the theater. _

The fact that the theater lights had been turned back on was merely the first signal of the outside world's imposition. The feel of Sam leaning next to him was another. The sound of the doors opening was a third. Sam left the perch she'd taken up after Laria and the others had gone home in order to head off the attendant. Jack watched their hushed conversation while continuing to pat Daniel's knee. He could tell by the look on Sam's face that they were going to have to leave soon.

* * *

Sam

_Crap! How am I supposed to pull this off? Well at least he's not sobbing loudly anymore._

Sam shuffled back down the aisle to the guys.

"Guys we have five minutes to clear the theater, and they're going to start cleaning in two. So if anyone has a suggestion now's the time."

The three guys surrounding Daniel looked at her blankly. Sam sighed.

_Time for plan B._

"Mark, take T and go pull the car out front. Jack, give me a little space please."

Sam waited as each of the guys silently considered her orders. They all seemed to reach their decision simultaneously and soon she was relatively alone with Daniel. Sam plopped herself down next to him in the chair Mark had recently vacated and studied Daniel carefully. He was hunched over in his seat, elbows resting on his knees, and his face planted firmly in his hands making it difficult to see the tears streaming down his cheeks. Their glistening tracks and the quiet sniffle in Daniel's breathing were the only indicators of what was truly happening.

_Here goes…_

Sam reached out and grasped the wrist closest to her, tugging Daniel's hand from his face. He drooped a little more but otherwise there was no response to her actions. Her grip on his wrist shifted so that their fingers were intertwined. With her other hand Sam knocked the remaining hand away and cupped Daniel's chin.

_At least he's not fighting me._

Once she had a firm grip, Sam slipped off the chair and moved to face Daniel and forced him to look at her.

"Daniel, look at me," she coaxed. "We have to leave here now. I need you to get up and come with me so that we can go some place more suitable."

* * *

Jack

He hadn't been sure that Sam would be able to do anything with Daniel. After all they hadn't been able to help and surely after a year of being good friends with Daniel and dealing with the initial aftermath of Sharon's death, they'd know what to do by now. Sam had only met Daniel a few days ago. He couldn't hear what Sam was saying but something she was doing was working. Daniel's head had risen slightly and he appeared to be focusing on Sam.

_Maybe it's cause she's a woman. God she's amazing. Insanely smart, quick witted, personable, considerate, and intuitively empathic. Not to mention Smokin! Down Jack! She's only 16! Besides, you're supposed to be focusing on Daniel right now._

Jack did a double take. Somehow Sam had gotten Daniel standing and she was staggering slightly under his weight, despite the fact that he wasn't much larger than her. Jack could see Daniel's legs shaking as the pair made their way towards him with some difficulty. When they'd cleared the seats Jack maneuvered everyone so that Daniel was between himself and Sam with one arm around his shoulder and the other around Sam's waist. Jack and Sam stoically ignored the looks they received as they walked Daniel out of the theater, while Daniel remained oblivious. Luckily Mark and T had the car ready and the doors opened when the threesome walked out into the cold night air.

"So what's the plan?"

"I don't know Mark. Let's just start by getting out of here. Any more bright ideas Sam?"

_Please don't say home. I can't handle Laria right now. She'll jump me as soon as I walk in the door. And I am so Not in the mood._

"How bout the Tower? I haven't had the chance to give back the keys yet."

_Not a bad idea_.

Jack caught Mark's gaze in the rearview mirror and shrugged.

"Sounds good to me Sis. Someone should call home so nobody freaks."

Jack sighed.

"I'll call. My mom can call yours."

"The Tower it is."

* * *

Sam

After using her keys to let them into the Church Sam had left the boys to head up to the refurbished bell tower and headed down into the kitchen to grab snacks and drinks. She pulled some plastics cups from one cabinet and a bag of chips from another. Rummaging through the refrigerator had yielded two bottles of soda. Sam grabbed the bottles, turned from the fridge and promptly dropped them on the floor as her hands flew up in shock.

_Holy Shi…How did he get so close without me noticing?_

Sam was now standing nose to nose with Jack, his hands resting on the countertop and the fridge door boxing her in, her heart racing. As she tried to calm her breathing, Jack crouched down and retrieved the soda. He rose smoothly and slowly in front of her maintaining eye contact as his body brushed hers.

_Oh…wow…that's…distracting._

They stood barely touching, staring at each other for long moments. Sam was still shaking, but it was no longer from fear.

_Kiss me Jack. Please. Jonas never makes me feel like this. Whatever She does for you I'll learn to do it better. Please._

But she didn't speak and when he made no move she sighed and dropped her eyes.

"Anything else in there? We probably don't want to be opening these for a while."

Jack's teasing comment broke the tension and brought a smile to Sam's lips.

"Guess not. Boy you startled me. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"

Sam took the soda bottles from Jack's hands and returned them to the fridge. Instead she grabbed a third bottle and a pitcher of water.

"Sorry. Just wanted to see if you were going to need help bringing things upstairs."

"And you couldn't have made just a tiny bit of noise to let me know you were coming?"

Sam stuck her tongue out at Jack, nodded to the cups and chips and headed for the stairs.

"Make yourself useful and grab some napkins before you leave."

* * *

Jack

Jack was lost in thought as he followed Sam up the stairs to the Tower, well at least the part of him that wasn't focused on her ass, conveniently at eye level, was. He really had wanted to kiss her, to take the adrenaline rush she'd been feeling and change it into something else, something more.

_So close. So pretty. So perfect. So NOT possible. Especially not in a church. What are you thinking!_

It had been that last thought and the mantra that had been playing in his head all night that had kept him from acting.

_She has a boyfriend. She has a boyfriend._

Even with all that it had been a near thing.

_Good thing she didn't ask me why I snuck up on her. I'm not sure she would have taken my response too well. 'I wanted to get as close to you as possible,' probably wouldn't have been a big hit. Or maybe I'm wrong…she didn't calm as quickly as I would have expected. I swear she's putting a little extra swing into this stair climbing thing. Too bad you have to go home to Laria you idiot. At least she won't mind taking care of you. That girl has a one track mind._

Sam had reached the top of the stairs and turned a corner, removing herself from Jack's line of sight.

_Hey, bring that back! Ssshh! What if Carter can tell what you're thinking? He'll kick your ass!_

Jack rounded the corner himself and smiled wistfully at the sight before him. Each of the guys had taken up residence on their own couch, leaving Jack and Sam their choice of small folding chairs around the table or floor cushions. Mark was sprawled along his couch flipping channels on the muted tv. Daniel was lying on his back staring blankly at the ceiling, tear tracks still evident on his cheeks. T sat upright in the middle of his couch legs tucked up under him in a meditative pose.

_Does he have to do that on the last couch left? I wonder if I can get him onto the floor so I can share the couch with Samantha. Maybe you can get him to shrink the couch while you're at it, eh?_

In the end it didn't matter because Sam had set the sodas down on the table and gone to sit on the floor leaning up against Daniel's couch with her head tipped back next to his.

_Darn it! How come she has to be so caring? Oh please, that's one of the reasons why you like her. What's she doing now? Is that a cell phone? Damn she's good!_

* * *

Sam

"Daniel you need to call them. I'm sure they're worried about you and I'm certain you'll feel better after. Please."

Sam held her cell phone up in Daniel's line of sight. She could feel the other guys watching them covertly.

_Please let this work. Please let this work._

She tried not to sigh audibly as Daniel took the phone from her hand. He turned the phone over and over several times before flipping it open and entering a number. He paused again before hitting send. Sam turned around and did it for him. Moments later Daniel spoke into the thick silence.

"Hi. It's me."

Sam rose from the floor and gestured for the others to follow her to the far side of the room. There were a few floor cushions piled over there, out of the way, and Sam sat down on top of them.

* * *

Jack

Jack and Mark followed Sam to give Daniel some privacy. By unspoken agreement T stayed close in case he was needed. At first Jack was unsure where to sit, but the depressed hunch of Sam's shoulders as she sat decided for him. He sat down next to her and tucked her head onto his shoulder.

"You did good today Samantha."

"Yeah. Good thinking Sammie. I was starting to worry about Daniel."

"Is this why he came home with you guys for Thanksgiving?"

As Sam expected, Mark answered her question. Of the two guys he was closer to Daniel, while Jack was closer to T.

"He's always said that her family felt more like family to him than his did. He didn't think he could face her parents on the anniversary. I think he feels guilty since she was driving to see him when it happened. I hope talking to them helps."

"So how'd the rest of the crew end up here too?"

Jack answered this time.

"Well the break's not really long enough for T to justify going home. Laria's here cause her parent's are visiting her sister in Africa for the month and I felt bad making her stay at school."

_Shouldn't have bothered…I'd much rather have you than her_.

Jack's hand stroked up and down Sam's arm, keeping her close.

"So I noticed you had Jonas drive the other girls home. Everything all right with you two?"

_Shit! Boyfriend!_

Jack's hand stilled at Mark's question. He started to lean back from Sam but she just snuggled her head deeper into his shoulder.

"We're fine. We're going Christmas shopping on Friday and then he's got some diner thing planned."

"Guy's going shopping with you on Black Friday…ballsy move. I hope he's got plenty of patience."

Sam rolled her eyes at Jack.

"Well he does spend most of his free time with me and Cassie. On top of that he's got two sisters. I'd say he's got plenty of practice."

"I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time."

_Cause shopping together in horrible crowds is soo much fun._

"We're taking something we'd both be doing anyways and making it more fun by doing it together. Got a problem with that Jack?"

_You're doing it with him and not me._

"Nope. Enjoy your date with your girlfriend."

This time Sam whirled on him.

_Oh shit! Did I just say that out loud? I'm so dead now._

"Look Jackass…just because your girlfriend is a blithering idiot with no people skills doesn't give you the right to rag on my relationship with Jonas."

"Oh she's got plenty of people skills Samantha. She's got skills you've never even considered, which isn't surprising now that I've met your boyfriend. You didn't even kiss him good night."

Their voices had become so loud that they'd pulled Daniel's attention away from his phone conversation, but neither of them noticed.

"Well you weren't exactly showering Laria with affection earlier Jack. I saw you sigh in relief when she left."

"You were making me nervous. Besides…"

_Shit can't say that out loud. Can not tell Samantha you would have been picturing her instead of Laria. Especially not in front of Carter._

Jack shut his eyes and drew a deep breath.

"I'm going for a walk."

He stood and left the room. T blocked the door as Sam moved to follow.

* * *

Sam

Blocked from the doorway Sam turned back into the room and began to pace in small circles.

"What the HELL was that Sammie!"

"Shit Mark. I don't know. One minute it was nice. I was relaxed. Then he started harping on Jonas and I…I just snapped. I don't know."

Sam threw her arms up in the air and flopped down on the empty couch.

"Blame it on hormones or something. That's what most women do."

It finally registered with Sam that Daniel had hung up her phone and was now watching her closely.

"Oh God. I'm sorry Daniel. I didn't mean to…"

"It's all right Sam. I'm going to call them again tomorrow. Actually it kinda helped. You two gave me something else to worry about. But if you don't mind I'm about ready to crash. Could we call it a night?"

"Sure."

Mark and T nodded their agreement.

"Now all we need to do is find Jack. Mark why don't you go with T and I'll go with Sam since you two are the ones that know your way around here?"

"Fine. Meet out at the car in 15 even if you haven't found him. We can regroup from there."

**oOo**

"You know…Sharon and I always used to have stupid fights like that before we got together."

"Really?"

"Yep. Over the dumbest things. One time we had this huge throw down over the fact that I'd sat with some girl, I can't even remember her name, on the bus ride back from a fieldtrip instead of sitting with Sharon. Our first date was my way of apologizing."

"That's very sweet, and thanks for trying to make me feel less awful, but I don't think Jack sees me that way."

"He's probably just scared of Mark."

"But they're best friends."

"Exactly. Give him some time. He'll figure it out. So how bout this Jonas guy?"

"He's nice. We're good friends, but I dunno…"

"Which is why Jack's comments stung so much. By the way, your comments about Laria were right on too. I can't stand her. Hey isn't that Jack?"

Daniel pointed to a lone figure sitting in one of the small offices looking out into the small enclosed garden.

"Don't know who else would be here."

"You go talk to him Sam. I'll wait here."

_Darn it. I was hoping to avoid this. I wonder what he's thinking. I hope he's not too mad at me._

"Hey."

Jack didn't move a muscle.

"I'm sorry Jack. What I said up there…it was none of my business. You were just kidding around…I shouldn't have made it personal. Daniel's ready to go home now. How bout we just call it a night and deal with it later if we have to?"

Still silent, Jack rose and walked around Sam to Daniel.

"I'm glad your doing better."

Jack gave Daniel a quick hug, complete with back pat and then stepped out of the room.

**oOo**

Jack didn't speak again on the ride home. As everyone climbed out of the car into the Carter's driveway Sam snuck a hopeful glance at him. When he wouldn't meet her eye she sighed and started towards the house. Just as she was about to follow the others inside she heard him call her name.

"Samantha…"

She turned on the front porch.

"It's not just your fault. I'm sorry for pushing. I was worried about Daniel and I took it out on you. If Jonas makes you happy that's all that matters. Good night."

_I'm starting to think he doesn't make me nearly as happy as you would. Damn it._

**

* * *

A/N 2: A completely irrelevant little, well not so little, piece. Not really what I wanted to write when I sat down to do this chapter, but it's what came out. Let me know what you think.**


	4. The End of an Era

**The Collective Years  
****4: The End of an Era  
****PhDelicious**

**A/N:** This is the last one for a while as I have a major paper and presentation coming up. I had to get this one out before I took a break since it wouldn't stop taking up space in my head.

* * *

Sam 

Sam looked around the room and smiled at the hubbub. With over twenty people Janet had managed to reserve the party room at Otto's, a local brewery and restaurant, for the post-graduation dinner. Now the Carters, the O'Neills, the Langfords, Daniel's grandfather, Sharon's parents, Teal'c, and Janet sat scattered among several small tables talking up a storm. Sam could just make out the conversation of the table behind her.

_I'm surprised they can remember their own graduation speakers, let alone paid soooo much attention to this one. My brain took a tangent as soon as he started talking about new beginnings. I still can't believe I've finished my first year of college. So much happened this year…meeting Joline and learning to live with her and Marty…adjusting to classes…learning the ropes on a new team…getting more intimate with Jack than I'd ever dared to hope for…I even got to know what T stood for….what a difference a year can make!_

Sam turned her head to her left to study her Jack.

_Yep…he's all mine._

They'd been together a year and a half now and it still amazed her. Noticing her attention he glanced her way briefly before returning to his conversation with Teal'c, Mark, and Daniel. The feeling of Jack's fingers sliding over the back of her hand and interlacing with her own distracted Sam from her study of Jack's profile. She smiled and turned to rejoin Janet's conversation with Catherine.

"Cath I still find it amusing that out of all the universities out there you and Daniel are going to be attending the same one for graduate school."

"Yes, well when you receive a Fulbright Scholarship to study at Oxford it's not exactly something you turn down."

"And after only three years for you…"

Catherine blushed.

_Just like Jack. You wouldn't know either of them were brainiacs unless you looked at their transcripts. I wonder why they're so embarrassed by it._

"Seriously…congratulations Cath. I'm sure you guys are going to love it, but it'll be so weird here without you all next year. I know I've only been here a year but I can't imagine not spending Sunday afternoons in the guy's living room with everyone."

"Or every other night with Jack," Catherine teased. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find away to occupy yourself. You, Janet, and Jo will probably end up causing more trouble than Mark and Jack every managed."

"Hey! I'm not sure I want to be included in that statement Cath. After all I didn't have anything to do with the infamous ice cream theft or the silly string incident. Those were all Sam and Jo."

The three laughed remembering how Sam and her roommate had, on a dare from Jack, stolen a large tub of rocky road ice cream from the dinning hall early in the year. They'd almost gotten caught because Mark and Jack had started yelling loud enough to attract some of the staff. As payback the girls had snuck into the guys' apartment, with the help of Teal'c, and covered them and their room with silly string while they slept. Sam had even rigged one of the bathrooms so that opening the door released more of the sticky substance.

"Hey what are you girls laughing so hard at?"

"Not you Danny. Silly String…" Janet managed to get out between her giggles.

"Ah," murmured Daniel sagaciously. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget being woken up by their rather girlish shrieks that morning. It took forever to get them to clean up the mess though."

"Who you callin' girlish, Danny boy?"

"Why… you and Carter, Jack. I didn't know guys could hit such high notes without a little 'alteration'."

"Wise guy."

Daniel grinned and rose.

* * *

Jack 

The mischievous look on Daniel's face had Jack a little worried. When he clinked his fork against his water glass to get everyone's attention Jack had to stifle a groan. After a few moments the room was relatively hushed.

"I'd like to propose a toast."

Daniel paused and waited for everyone to raise their glasses.

"To my family, such that it is…for getting me this far, thank you."

He looked to the table where his grandfather and Sharon's parents were sitting with the Carters' grandparents.

"To my friends…for keeping me sane through everything and reminding me through dares, bets, late night conversations and silly string wars, that life is meant to be lived and enjoyed."

Daniel smiled at those sitting around his table and then focused on Janet.

"And to Janet for loving me enough to put up with my flightiness and moodiness for the past two years. I hope these past few years have been as good for you as they've been for me and that things only get better from here."

_Very well said. Guess he learned something from studying all those languages and ancient orators after all. I guess its group-hug time._

After 'here, here'ing Daniel's toast everyone had risen and begun to cluster around him. Jack squeezed in to give Daniel a quick hug of his own, before stepping back to watch the happy scene unfold before him.

_I guess that means the dinner portion of the evening is coming to a close._

oOo

Not long after Daniel's toast the adults had decided to call it a night. Catherine's younger siblings had begun falling asleep and most of the grandparents were visibly tired as well. Jack had hugged his parents and grandparents and gotten a firm handshake from Jacob and a kiss on the cheek from Mrs. Carter before moving to the side to wait with Teal'c for his friends to finish untangling themselves from their families. He'd been amused to see that it had taken reassurances from Mark before the Carters had agreed to allow Sam to spend the night at the apartment instead of with them at the hotel.

_I wonder what was bothering them. It's not like this presents an opportunity unlike what's been available throughout the school year. Parents…_

In the end Jack, Sam, Mark, Catherine, Daniel, Janet, and Teal'c had piled into Cath's Jeep and headed back to the apartment together. Now they were all sitting around the living room, a pile of presents on the floor in the middle. It had been agreed that instead of each buying lots of little presents of questionable use the group would pool their funds and get each of the graduates something that would normally be out of their price range.

"Who wants cake?" asked Jack popping up from the couch he'd been sprawled on.

"As long as it's chocolate," responded Catherine.

"Amen."

Janet and Sam's answers came simultaneously.

"Like I'd get anything else," Jack huffed and wandered off into the kitchen. "A little help here someone."

_I can't wait for presents. Let's get this stuff out quick so we can get to the more important things._

Teal'c and Daniel rose and followed Jack, returning with plates, napkins, and forks for everyone. A few moments later Jack carried in a large cake cut into several pieces. The guys worked together to dish out the cake and pass around pieces for everyone.

"So who's going first?"

"Umm…how bout you since you're so impatient, Jack?"

"Sweet."

Sam picked up a small package and handed it to him. Underneath the wrapping paper was an old shoe box which had been covered in photos of the group. Inside was a list of addresses, a stack of stamped and addressed envelopes, and a whole bunch of blank paper.

_Okay…I can take a hint._

"So…I guess you're all expecting letters?"

"Well we figured you'd forget unless you had something to remind you. You can use my envelopes to write to Sam if you'd prefer," joked Mark.

"Uh thanks."

"You should look closer O'Neill."

"All right T."

Jack started lifting everything out of the box and setting it to the side. At the very bottom was a small envelope which he had missed the first time. Daniel spoke as Jack opened the envelope to reveal two tickets.

"I know you're leaving for test pilot training soon and none of us will get to see you for a long time, probably until Thanksgiving. So, hopefully we're not jinxing anything, but this is also an early congratulations on surviving present. The tickets are good for any home game for the next season that you can make."

"Hockey tickets…Awesome! Right on the ice too…how'd you guys manage this?"

"Catherine's dad knows some people."

"Thanks Cath. So…Samantha, are you coming with me?"

"If that's what you want Jack."

"Sweet. Okay…Mark's turn."

Catherine handed Mark his present, which turned out to be two more hockey tickets, which she'd purchased when she'd gotten Jack's. Included in Mark's present was the chance to go to a team practice and autograph session during their training camp.

"You guys are amazing."

"You're welcome baby. Feel free to take Jack if he's around when you go."

"Daniel's up."

"Geez Jack, impatient much. Let other people have a little time to enjoy their gifts."

After berating Jack, Janet handed over Daniel's present. Instead of tearing into it like Jack and Mark had done Daniel turned, shook, and generally manhandled his present.

"That's enough Danny. Just open the damn thing!"

"Fine. Fine."

Daniel's present was two different translations of the Egyptian _Book of the Dead_ and a round trip plane ticket from London to the US.

"I didn't want you to have to spend the holidays alone, and I've asked Sharon's parents to join us as well."

Daniel was overwhelmed. He managed a watery smile for the group before hugging Janet tightly to him and crying into her shoulder.

"Awe…come on Danny. This is supposed to be a happy day, well moment at least, before we all split up. No more crying until morning."

"I…am… happy…Jack."

Daniel picked his head up from Janet's shoulder and swiped at his eyes.

"And that leaves T."

"Wait," said Janet. "Cath we didn't want you to feel left out so…we booked you on the same flight home as Daniel. That way I can be sure he makes it to the airport on time."

"Thanks Jan. Don't worry about a thing. I'll take real good care of him for you."

"Now it's T's turn."

"No presents remain."

"Don't worry buddy…we got ya covered."

Mark, Daniel, and Jack left the living room and headed upstairs to the bedrooms. A few minutes later they came back down to the sound of the Darth Vader theme.

* * *

Sam 

She couldn't help laughing as the guys reappeared dressed in Star Wars costumes. Jack was Han Solo. Mark was Lando Calrissian. And Daniel was dressed as Luke from early in Episode IV. The guys had been keeping this gift to themselves, despite asking for the girls' help on the others.

"No Leia?" Catherine teased.

"I do not believe they have the necessary physique to dress as Princess Leia."

"That's the fun part T."

"Comments on our costumes aside," spoke Mark. "We wish to present you, Master Teal'c, with an all access, well almost, pass to Skywalker Ranch, the home of Lucasfilm Inc."

"But that is impossible Carter. George Lucas does not allow tours of his studio."

"Well…it seems Catherine's not the only one who knows people who know people. Apparently Daniel's grandfather did such a good job consulting on one of Lucas's films that he was able to get you in. They'll be putting you up at the ranch so there's some spending money here along with your plane tickets."

Daniel blushed at the mention of his role in the elaborate present.

"At first we were going to get you tickets to go home, but nobody could remember about your Visa, so we didn't want to get them in case you couldn't use them."

"Thank you very much Daniel Jackson. Please thank your grandfather as well. This is a most unexpected surprise."

_Is the big guy choked up? Oh wow, I don't think I've ever seem T emotional before._

"I believe you all have one further surprise for the evening, do you not?"

This last comment of Teal'c's was directed towards the guys. All the girls turned to look at each other in confusion.

_What on earth?_

The three guys were huddled together in the in a whispered conversation. After a few moments of conversation they each went to kneel in front of their respective girlfriends.

_Oh SHIT! There is NO Way…oh God…please tell me this isn't what I think it is! I'm not ready for that yet. I just finished my freshman year for cryin out loud! I don't want to have to say no to Jack…crap! Keep calm Samantha. Just wait until you know what's going on before you flip._

Jack was the first to speak.

"The guys decided I should go first since we've been together the shortest amount of time. I tried telling them we'd known each other the longest, but they didn't buy it…so here goes."

Jack took a deep calming breath and framed her face with his hands, forcing her to keep eye contact.

"First, stop panicking. This is not a proposal. I know you…we aren't ready for that yet. But I am going away for a while and even after that there's no guarantees as to where I'll be posted…so I wanted you to have something to remember me by. Something more real…more concrete…than memories, but not as scary as an engagement ring."

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He turned the box towards Sam and opened it to reveal a Claddagh ring of white gold.

_Wow! Ooookay…I can handle this._

"It's a traditional Irish ring symbolizing love, friendship, and fidelity. It is my promise to you Samantha. How you wear it is up to you."

"How I wear it?"

Jack lifted Sam's right hand.

"If the heart faces out it means that your heart is unclaimed. If the heart faces inwards it indicates that you have promised your heart to someone. Wearing the ring on your left hand would indicate that you have chosen to permanently bond yourself to another through marriage. Since that's out of the question…."

Using her left hand Sam lifted the ring from its box.

"It's beautiful Jack. Put it on for me, please."

Jack set down the ring box and took the band from her hand. He hesitated just shy of placing the ring on her finger. Sam sighed in consternation.

"Heart facing in Jack. Isn't that the point of this whole thing?"

"Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

Jack slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her off the couch to kneel on the floor in front of him. Keeping hold of her right hand with his left he slid his other hand along Sam's cheek and into her hair, pulling her close for a kiss.

_This…is perfect. I don't ever want to let him go._

When the noise coming from their friends finally penetrated her brain Sam pulled back slightly, amazed to find that tear were streaming down both of their faces. Sam hugged Jack tightly.

"All right you two…that's enough. We got other things to get through tonight."

Without turning from Sam, Jack flicked Mark off.

"Love you too Jack," came the cheeky reply.

* * *

Jack 

This time it was Jack who pulled reluctantly from Sam's arms. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks and then moved to sit next to her pulling her head down to his shoulder. He continued to run his thumb over the ring.

"Happy now Carter? Besides Danny's next."

Jack kissed Sam lightly on the cheek before turning his attention to where Daniel sat in front of Janet looking at the floor.

"Janet, I know there are plenty of good reasons why I shouldn't be doing this…we haven't been dating much longer than Jack and Sam, you're not done with school by a long shot, and I'm leaving the country soon. But I also know how short life can be and how badly it rips at you when you're separated from someone before you get a chance to say everything you want to. …So, unlike Jack, I am proposing."

Janet cut Daniel off.

"No Daniel, not like this."

A shocked silence fell over the room. Daniel sat frozen, his stunned look hidden from Janet by the angle of his head.

_Holy Shit! I so didn't think he'd strike out on this. Crap! Crap! Crap!_

"Look at me Daniel," Janet whispered, a soft look stealing over her face.

_Ah ha! Good… It's going to be okay._

Daniel's head rose slowly and he must have seen something in her gaze because his posture changed.

"That's better."

"Janet Frasier…I love you. You give me a reason to stay connected to the present when I begin to get lost in the past. Will you, someday, when you're ready, do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

And with that Daniel removed a small cloth bag from his pocket. From the bag he removed an old ring. A small round cut diamond sat in the thin band and fanning out from the diamond, perpendicular to the band done in pink and green enamel and edged with smaller diamonds were two lotuses. Even though Jack had seen the ring before he was still amazed at its timeless beauty.

"Daniel…"

"It was my mother's, and my grandmother's before that and I'd be the happiest man alive if you'd take it as yours."

Instead of moving down to join Daniel, Janet grabbed his forearms and tugged until he rose to sit beside her. Janet blushed as Daniel continued to gaze at her. Finally she broke eye contact and shook herself from her daze long enough to grab the ring from him and slide it onto her finger.

"Yes…yes…of course I'll wear your ring Daniel!"

Janet threw her arms around Daniel. Sam quickly lifted herself from the floor and launched herself at the happy couple. Catherine was far behind. The girls began hugging and crying and ogling their rings.

"Oh Hell!"

Jack could barely hear Mark's muttered exclamation as he rose to pace the room.

"There's no way I can compete with that."

Jack caught Teal'c's glance and rolled his eyes.

"Hey Cath…"

"What Mark?"

"Wanna get married too?"

"Sure."

Mark's jaw dropped and he stopped pacing, waiting. Catherine didn't even turn from her examination of Janet's ring.

"That's all you have to say?" asked Mark.

"Yeah sure, you betcha? Do I get a pretty ring too?"

This time Mark moved to sit on the nearest chair and missed, falling straight to the floor.

Jack barely managed to choke out, "Serves you right Carter," before he too was on the floor, doubled over in pain from laughing too hard.

* * *

**A/N 2:** If you're interested this is where I got the idea for Daniel's ring: _www_ _moonlovers com pages lotus_. Hopefully you can piece that back together, as I lack the skills necessary to code a link. Please leave me some love to give me motivation to return to this fic after frying my brain on school work for the next month. Cause seriously I know you guys can do better than 3 reviews for 100 hits. I'm never going to set a personal review record this way. Thanks. 


	5. Doubts

**The Collective Years  
****5: Doubts  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**A/N:** This is dedicated to Bookworm37 who has to be the conscientious reviewer ever, and SpaceMonkey67 who took the time to go back and review chapters just to up my numbers. And to the little voice in the back of my head that keeps writing this every day as I walk to and from work. Thanks.

* * *

Sam

Samantha Carter sat on the ratty old couch in the basement of the Swim House lost in thought, twisting her Claddagh ring around on her finger. All around her was noise and revelry as the swimmers celebrated the end of their season. Championships had ended earlier that evening and now everyone was happy and relaxed on a nice alcohol buzz. Sam should have been partying right along with them. She'd swum two personal bests and her 800-free relay team had placed 3rd. Instead of being proud of her work Sam was pissed at herself. Not because of the swimming but because of something much more personal.

_I can't believe I cried myself to sleep last night. God, that's so pathetic! I'm stronger than this…than breaking down because Jack wasn't here. It's good thing I wasn't swimming today. It would've been a disaster! I hope he's okay. I haven't heard from him in two months. Something must be wrong…I mean last year he was out of the country and he answered his emails every few days. Oh God! I hope he's okay. I can't believe he's not here! If he was okay he'd be here!_

Her reverie was broken when someone flopped down next to her. Sam nodded briefly to the person without even a glance to ascertain their identity. Her hope that whoever it was would just allow her to ignore them was shattered when he spoke in a soft, slightly twangy voice.

"Hi I'm John. You're Sam Carter right?"

_John? Why is this guy introducing himself to me? I should already know everyone here._

Now Sam turned to look at the guy next to her. He seemed tall, though it was hard to tell since they were sitting down, with a shock of red hair and green eyes. He looked vaguely familiar. He'd been around throughout the meet, mixing with parents, and on deck talking to Coach. Now that she thought about it he'd been timing in the lane next to her last night.

"Oh…hi…you're here about the assistant coaching job right? I'm sure you'd be great."

"I'm just glad Coach gave me the chance. I don't have much experience."

"It's a good place to be. I'll miss it next year."

"You're a senior?"

"Yep."

"Job?"

"Grad school."

"Ah….Masters?"

"PhD…theoretical astrophysics…Stanford."

"Wow!"

Sam smiled and turned away from John back to her thoughts. Usually the mention of her intended discipline shocked people enough to bring whatever conversation they were having to a screeching halt. John surprised her.

"That's an unusual choice. Do you want to be a professor?"

"Not really. I wouldn't mind the research, that's what I want to do, but I don't think I'd make a good teacher. Actually I'd really love to be an astronaut. Actually get out there… up to the stars."

Sam's eyes lit up as she talked about her dreams.

"Lofty goals."

Sam grinned. Maybe it was the alcohol she'd drunk earlier or maybe it was the fact that Jack's abandonment had left her feeling lonely, but she was finding John very easy to talk to.

"So you can smile. Do you laugh too?"

"Huh?"

"Well you looked so sad earlier, sitting here by yourself, oblivious to your teammates. And if I'm not mistaken you were fiddling with a ring?"

_Shit! I don't want to talk about this. Who does he think he is? I barely even know him._

"My boyfriend gave it to me three years ago."

"Ah…I'm sorry…sore subject huh?"

"He's in the Air Force and I haven't heard from him in two months. I'm starting to get worried. He would have been here if he could, or at least that's what I keep telling myself."

Sam stopped talking and turned away from John again, swiping at the tears that had begun to trail down her cheeks.

"He must be a great guy to have someone like you. I'm sure he'd be here if he could. But you look like you'd rather be home. Come on I'll walk ya."

John put an arm around Sam's shoulder and squeezed. Then he stood, grabbed her hands and pulled her from the couch. He had her maneuvered up the steep basement stairs before she'd snapped out of her thoughts enough to comment.

"I'm not sure Coach would be too happy if he heard that his new assistant was leaving parties with his swimmers."

"Haven't got the job yet. If he asks I'll tell him the truth…I just don't have the self-control to resist a beautiful woman in distress."

He winked roguishly at Sam causing a small smile to break through the tears.

"Like… he'd buy… that one."

Sam replied stumbling over some hiccups.

"You bet he would, 'specially after I told him who the particular beauty was."

"Nah, he'd just be disappointed in me. Coach liked Jack."

"Jack huh?"

"Yep. Jonathan 'Jack' O'Neill, with two L's. God I miss him!"

Silence fell and Sam and John paused to cross the street and head back towards campus.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to dump all this on you. I barely even know you and here I am rambling about my boyfriend who's God only knows where, doing God only knows what and with whom. I'm sure you're completely uninterested."

"Actually I'm fascinated. Have you known him long?"

"Seems like my whole life. …Anyways, this is me. It was nice meeting you John. I'm sorry I won't be around next year to get to know you better."

Sam stopped in front of a small white house with green shutters and a small square front vestibule instead of a porch.

"Actually…"

_Please don't ask to come in. I can't do this…I need to cry…I need to be alone. I can't even think about…_

"Could I use your bathroom? I think my beers have cycled through."

Sam stepped up onto the front stoop and turned to face John positioning herself so that he had to look up at her. After staring him down for a few moments she relented.

_He looks honest. If Coach trusts him he can't be too bad. And I know how to defend myself if necessary. All right…_

"Fine, but just the bathroom and then you're out. I'm sorry if I led you on, but now is really not a good time. And until I know about Jack I just can't even…"

"It's okay Sam. I wasn't asking for anything else."

Sam pulled open the vestibule door and led John inside to the hallway where there were two doors on the first floor and a stairwell to two more apartments on the second floor. Taking her keys from her pocket Sam unlocked the door to their right and walked into her living room.

"Bathroom's the first door on the right, just past the kitchen. Second's my roommate Joline's but she's staying with her boyfriend tonight so don't worry about bothering her."

"Nice place you've got here. I like the homey touches."

John gestured to the sheer curtains covering the windows and the knick-knacks strewn across the top of the TV, as he wandered down the short hall. Sam collapsed onto one of the couches.

"Thanks. It's small, but we like it. Lived here for two years now. Moving's going to suck!"

_I should drink some water before I go to sleep._

Sam pushed herself back up and headed to the kitchen, snagging a mug from the coffee table on her way. She'd just put the pitcher back in the fridge when the toilet flushed. Sighing Sam moved back to the main room. This time she sat on the other couch with her back to the hallway, facing the door. John's voice floated from the direction of the bathroom.

"Hey…thanks for letting me use the facilities. Not many people would have been as nice."

"Don't be silly Jack…you're more than welcome to use the bathroom while you're here, dumbass."

_Jack! Jack! Oh no! Either I'm hallucinating or I just called another man…Shit!_

"Shit! John I'm so sorry. It's just that…"

"Don't worry about it Samantha."

_Holy SHIT! That is so Jack's voice! I must be dreaming._

"Ouch!"

"Ouch?"

The voice was much closer now and all traces of twang were gone.

"Yeah! Ouch! I just pinched myself to see if I was dreaming and it hurt so I can't be. Jack? Is that really you?"

This time the voice came from right behind, whispering over her ear.

"Yes baby it's me."

* * *

Jack

He hadn't expected her to move so quickly. After all she'd been upset and lethargic all night and it'd been a long weekend. But there she was, up off the couch and pushing him up against the wall before he'd had time to react.

_So much for all that training._

"You son of a bitch! What the Hell is going on here! Did you enjoy playing with me? Damn it Jack! Was this some kind of test? Do you trust me that little?"

The pressure on Jack's shoulders eased as Sam slumped down onto the arm of the couch. Jack moved to crouch down in front of her.

_Crap! Not really the reaction I was expecting. Time to apologize…_

"Yes it was a test, but not for you. I should explain…how bout we get you a little more comfortable."

Jack tugged lightly on Sam's arms trying to get her to stand so he could move them onto a couch, but instead of standing Sam slid backwards over the arm of the couch with an exasperated sigh and flopped on her back staring up at the ceiling. Jack stepped around the couch, lifted Sam and quickly moved so that he was sitting on the couch with her head in his lap. He stroked her hair idly.

"I'm sorry Samantha. I didn't think it would hurt this much."

"You said it was a test?"

Jack sighed.

"I'm not sure I should be telling you this, but here goes. Remember how I told you that my CO was talking about sending me to Special Forces after my tour last year?"

Sam nodded.

"Well three months ago the paperwork came through. The conditional transfer orders included a letter telling me to be ready the next morning at 04:30 and gave a list of things to pack, the makings of a small survival kit. That morning I was ready to go on time and I answered the door with my pack on, probably a good thing, because the next thing I remember is waking up in the belly of a plane with a 'chute strapped on and the guy next to me saying, 'you have 72 hours' before pushing me out the back."

Sam made a small noise of protest as Jack's fingers tightened in her hair before he continued.

"Luckily I was awake enough to remember to pull the 'chute they'd been kind enough to strap on over my pack. I landed in the middle of a tree in the middle of some forest with no idea how long I'd been out and wondering '72 hours to do what?'."

"So what'd you do?"

"Decided I probably shouldn't still be in the same spot in 72 hours and started walking…south according to my compass. Then I found a stream and decided to follow it instead. I spent the next 72 hours walking downstream, drinking stream water, and eating powerbars and the one fish I managed to catch with my hat."

Sam giggled at that image.

_I'm glad she thinks it's funny. At the time it was mostly frustrating!_

"I got more and more paranoid as the time limit approached but it wasn't enough to save me. It was actually a couple hours past that I turned around to investigate a noise and everything went black again. This time I woke up in a holding cell. Moments later I had to snap to attention as a General entered the room and began haranguing me. I chose the wrong direction. I left a trail noticeable from outer space. I was so noisy a deaf person could have located me, and so on. Apparently despite all that I'd eluded capture longer than any of the other recruits he'd tested over the past month, which meant I was in. I was given a week to tie up my current projects and get together everything I thought I'd need for two months."

Jack paused to drink from Sam's water glass.

"So that explains why I haven't heard from you in two months but it doesn't explain why you didn't tell me earlier or what's been going on this weekend."

"It's a little complicated and I know I'm exhausted right now and you're probably worse off than I am. Could we just…leave this for now…I'm not avoiding it. I promise…I just need some sleep first…?"

He watched nervously as Sam considered. He saw his answer in her eyes before she spoke.

"All right, bed time it is."

_Thank God! I think I would've fallen asleep on her soon anyways. Maintaining cover for so long is exhausting…it's not so much the cover as the anxiety._

Sam rolled to sit besides Jack and then stood, bringing him with her. She looped his arms around her waist and shuffled them towards her bedroom.

_Sweet!_

oOo

* * *

Sam

Two factors had combined to pull Sam from sleep. She was suffocatingly hot and she really, really needed to pee.

_It's cold out. I never wake up this hot when it's cold out. What's going on?_

Sam tried to roll onto her back from her position lying on her left side facing the wall, to get out of bed and head to the bathroom only to smack into Jack who was spooned up behind her.

_Oh…right. It's been a while. I'd almost forgotten_…_Now, how to get to the bathroom…maybe if I…_

Sam switched directions and rolled onto her stomach then twisted onto her right side. Jack had followed her, rolling onto his own stomach as she'd moved from him.

_Aw…so cute. All I have to do now is…_

Sam reached across Jack and planted her palm and foot on the thin sliver of mattress on the far side of him, raising herself on all fours above him. Jack slept on unmoving. Sam shifted her weight and moved to lie along the outside of the bed briefly before sliding out of her bed. She smiled to herself as she left Jack sleeping soundly in her bed. The red wig and contacts case she found in the bathroom dampened her mood considerably. She set them on the bed-side table as she perched on the edge of the bed.

"Jack…Jack."

"Mrmph"

"Come on, time to wake up sleepy head."

"Wha'time s'it?"

Jack mumbled into the pillow.

"9:30."

"s'Sunday."

"We need to talk Jack. Up now."

Jack turned his head from the pillow and opened one eye to glare at Sam. He must have decided that she was serious because he sighed and pushed himself up, swinging around to sit with his back resting against the wall.

"C'mere."

Jack patted the bed next to him.

_It can't hurt and it's cold out here without him._

Sam climbed up alongside Jack. He put an arm around her shoulders tucking her closely alongside him. With his other hand Jack linked his fingers with Sam's.

"So…"

Jack's grip tightened momentarily.

"It was our final test. To spend 48 hours around our family without breaking cover. Guru, that was our instructor's code name, told us that if we could change ourselves so as to be unrecognizable to those that know us best then we would be able to maintain cover around people who only knew us as our cover. He gave us a week. I took the first few days to set up everything with Coach. Guru said we'd be watched the entire time, that he would know if we failed. I haven't been able spot my tail though."

"Maybe he had someone set up ahead of time. Does Coach know the truth?"

"Nope, gave him a phony resume. You think he knew I'd come here?"

"Wouldn't he if he was doing his job right?"

Jack turned and placed a quick kiss on Sam's forehead.

"You're brilliant! Who do you think it was?"

"Well one of the guys …I think his father's in the Air Force…Harriman."

"Do you know what rank or where he works?"

"You mean there's a parent out there you didn't meet this weekend?"

"Maybe he avoided me. I can't wait to see Guru's face if we're right."

Jack settled back against the wall, a huge grin on his face as he imagined getting one up on his trainer.

* * *

Jack

_He probably wants us to figure it out. I bet the people who don't won't pass. Shit…I'm going to make Special Forces! I can do this! But can Samantha? Can I ask her to?_

Jack's expression fell and he let go of Sam's hand to push back his hair in frustration.

"Jack?"

"If I do this, accept this posting …I'm not sure I can ask you to do this with me."

"Jack?"

He could tell she was starting to get a little worried by the tone of her voice.

"It's going to be like the past few months over and over again. Never knowing when I'll be able to see you, talk to you, or even return your emails. And I'll never be able to tell you where I've been or what I've been doing. It's not fair to you."

"Jack… Don't do this. Don't talk yourself into believing this."

She was starting to panic. Her voice wavering. Jack could feel the tension in the room growing. But he couldn't stop. He had to explain.

"God…Sam…you were so upset last night and it's only going to get worse if I do this. I can't be out there worrying about you, wondering if this'll be the time that you won't forgive me for leaving you alone. It's not fair for me to do this to you…to expect you to wait for me…"

He couldn't look at her. Didn't want to know what he was doing to her. Didn't want her to know what she was doing to him.

"It's better to do this now, at the beginning, when we can both still survive it…"

"At the Beginning! What planet are you living on Jack O'Neill that you call eleven years the beginning!"

_Utoh! She's yelling now. Yelling's bad! Yelling means she's going to fight me, and I'm not going to be able to say no to her. God help me…I'm not going to be able to do this if she fights me. Probably cause you don't really want to do it in the first place, Idiot!_

Sam had moved from beside him to in front of him as she yelled. Now her hands gripped his shoulders pinning him to the wall. Jack's face was still turned away. Sam's voice lowered to a growl.

"Look at me Jack."

When he didn't respond she shook him once and injected a note of command into her next words.

"Face front O'Neill!"

This time he responded to the order instinctively.

"Now listen to me…really listen…I am NOT going to let you spoil a perfectly good weekend with a breakup routine. This is a guilt free zone and I am not going anywhere!"

"But…"

"No buts mister. Do you think I'll worry about you any less if we're not together? Every time you leave my side I worry about you. Tearing yourself from my life will not stop that pain. All it will do is keep me from being able to reassure myself that you're okay every time you come home. I am not going to let you throw away the best thing in your life out of some misguided sense of honor!"

Sam was flushed with anger and breathing hard and her words were finally starting to get through Jack's thick skull.

_Sam…_

"No matter where you go…no matter what you do…I will always be here when you come home Jack…Always. Now stop being an idiot and start making up for lost time."

Sam leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

_Wha…_

She took advantage of Jack's slack jawed shock to plunge her tongue into his mouth. Their tongues tangled together and his was drawn into her mouth as she retreated.

_Do something Jack! Move it! Samantha's kissing you…at least try to pre-tend to be interested..._

Snapping out of his funk, Jack took control. His hands slid up her sides until his thumbs sat just below her breasts. He squeezed lightly and ran his thumbs over the peaks before shifting so that Sam was lying underneath him, both of them upside down on the bed. Jack groaned as he broke their kiss to pull back and look at her. His gaze moved slowly across her face and one set of fingers followed as if he was memorizing the shapes and textures. When he'd had his fill his eyes returned to her.

"I love you Samantha Carter."

His kiss was hard and quick.

"I love you too Jack, but could you get your feet off my pillow? I have to sleep with it again you know."

Jack couldn't help it he dropped his forehead to hers and began to laugh and laugh. After a moment Sam joined him and they laughed together until all the tension is the air had dissolved and Jack's sides were so cramped he could no longer breathe. When he was finally managed to draw in enough air to speak his words came out in a whisper.

"Thank you…for keeping me from making the worst mistake of my life. I don't even want to imagine my life without you."

"I meant what I said Jack. Always."

**

* * *

A/N: Best lines of tonight's episode… Barrett: "So you're single again?" Sam: "Not exactly." Be still my little shipper heart! So worth the lack of Vala's delicious humor and tension with Daniel. Sweet! Now on a different note…I spent my break between writing drafts of a 30 page proposal to write this so show a little appreciation and leave me some love please.**


	6. Charlie

**The Collective Years  
6: Charlie  
PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer**: All recognizable characters (such that they are in this little AU) belong to some people with much more money, power, and influence than me.

**A/N**: I wasn't going to do this again so soon but my interior monologue just wouldn't shut the hell up! Never mind that huge proposal I have to work on in real life. Oh well…Actually I've had this since Thursday, but my comp.'s being nasty...so now I've jumped to another computer and you have your next chapter...

* * *

Jack 

Life as a Special Forces operative was exhilarating, fascinating, and utterly exhausting. In the two years since he'd joined up Jack had made more short trips to more small countries than he'd ever suspected existed. He was getting tired of sand, swamp, and jungle. It was cool at first, but now it was just good to be home. Unless something went wrong he had six months without having to track down an evildoer, infiltrate a prison, or make an impossible shot.

_It's good to be back. Though the place does smell a bit musty. I'm glad I bought this place._

Jack wandered through the small house he'd purchased just outside Edwards Air Force base with the pay raise that had come along with his move into Special Forces. This last assignment had been somewhat longer than his others. He'd been three months in the Persian Gulf tracking down a mix of cell leaders, government officials, and scientists. Some names had come with orders to turn, others to terminate.

_Stop dwelling Jack. You're home now. You've got that temp job as a trainer starting next week to keep you occupied. Sam's at Stanford. It's going to be a good break._

After assuring himself that everything was still in working order Jack grabbed a beer from the six pack he'd bought on his way home from the base and flopped down on his couch. A cloud of dust flew up in response and he sneezed. Jack grinned to himself.

_And now I'm turning into Daniel. I speak multiple languages, can curse it twice as many, and sitting down causes me to sneeze._

Jack clicked on the TV, flipped until he found a hockey game, and promptly fell asleep.

**oOo**

A loud pounding noise woke Jack.

_Wha…oh right…home. So that noise was…the front door._

Jack glanced at the clock on his cable box.

_Oops didn't mean to sleep so long. Nobody even knows that I'm home yet. Who on earth is knocking on my door at 8 pm on a …Tuesday?_

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Geez."

Jack propelled himself from the sofa and towards the door. He unlocked the dead bolt and pulled the door open in annoyance.

"Can I help….what the…"

Jack was shocked to see the woman on his doorstep.

"Sarah?"

She'd aged in the past six years. The preppy, fashionable, young woman he'd known was now a harried, sickly looking shadow of her former self.

"What's going on?"

"We need to talk Jack. We've needed to talk for six years, but your friends never let me near you and you've been damn hard to track down since you joined up."

Jack stepped back from the door and gestured for Sarah to enter.

"Come on in I suppose."

"Actually could you help me with something first?"

Sarah started back to her car, pausing to look a Jack over her shoulder.

_Alll riiight…._

Jack stepped out into the sultry night air. August in California was almost as bad as the Gulf. As he got nearer to the car Jack noticed the small body in the back seat.

"He's asleep right now, but I can't just leave him out here in the car. I don't want to wake him up, but he's gotten too big for me to carry…"

"I suppose we can put him in the guest room."

Jack stepped up alongside the car and looked at the boy inside. He was young, but large enough to be out of a car seat. His hair was a sun streaked brown and on the unruly side. Jack was starting to get nervous.

_I didn't know Sarah had a kid. He's pretty big. He's got to be more than a couple years old. I wonder who's his…_

Jack reached across the sleeping boy and unbuckled him, crouching down he awkwardly shifted the youngster into his arms. He rose and walked back into the house leaving Sarah to shut the car and house doors behind him. Jack moved straight through the main room down a short hallway to his small guest room. Shrugging the boy onto his hip Jack used his freed hand to turn down the covers. He laid the child down gently and then smoothed the covers back over him. He left the door ajar as he returned to the main room. Sarah was standing nervously at the end of the hall. Jack grabbed his beer off the coffee table and returned to his spot on the couch.

"So…"

Sarah twisted her hands together nervously.

"His name's Charlie. His sixth birthday was yesterday."

"He looks like a good kid Sarah. I'm sure you've done a good job with him, but is this what you wanted to talk about?"

"I wanted to...He's yours Jack."

"What!...Are you sure?"

"He was born in August, days before I should have started my senior year Jack. You know I never cheated on you and I didn't sleep with anyone else right after you broke it off because I was trying to get you back. By the time I realized that wasn't going to happen I knew. So yes, I'm sure."

"Shit!"

"I've been doing this myself for the past six years Jack. I can't do it anymore. I never got to finish school. My job sucks. We're barely surviving. I just…can't…"

She slumped back against the wall and sank to her knees.

"I never wanted kids, but I couldn't just…get rid of him…and I can't just give him up to strangers. Not when I know his father is a good man with a decent job."

"Shit… Sarah… I can't take him. I'm Special Forces. They could ship me out any moment for some godforsaken part of the earth for as long as they want. There's noone I could leave him with. If it's money I'll pay child support, but Sarah I can't take him."

"Yes you can Jack. You have to. I've had him for the past six years. It's your turn. His clothes are in that bag. You shouldn't need much else."

Jack looked to the front door and noticed the large duffle there for the first time.

"Damn it Sarah what am I supposed to do with him? I don't know how to take care of a kid long term."

"You'll figure it out. I did. Besides school will be starting again soon… He should be in first grade. You'll do fine Jack. Good bye."

Sarah turned her back on Charlie and Jack and headed for the door. Jack was out of the couch and on her before she made it. He grabbed her elbow as she reached for the door knob.

"You're serious about this?"

Sarah merely glared at him.

"You're not even going to say goodbye to him."

He didn't make it a question.

"It would only make things harder for both of us. Have a good life Jack."

Sarah tugged and he let her go.

"Sarah…"

The door shut firmly behind her echoing through the small house. Jack just stood there staring at it until the sounds of her car peeling out of his drive faded away. A small movement caught his eye and he turned. Charlie stood just beyond the couch, eyes wide and tearful.

"Mommy?"

Jack walked slowly towards the frightened child.

"I'm sorry kiddo. Mommy left."

Charlie's shoulders slumped and tears started to stream down his cheeks.

"Come on. Let's get you back into bed. You need your sleep. We'll work everything out in the morning."

Mutely Charlie nodded and held his arms up. Jack sighed and picked him up.

_He's got my eyes…Oh you must be crazy O'Neill! You can't seriously be considering…What? Turning him out? Putting him in the system? Give me a break!_

Jack patted Charlie gently on the back and hugged him tight.

"We're going to be all right. Everything's going to work out just fine."

Jack settled Charlie back into bed, tucking the sheets around him once more. As he stood back up he placed a gentle kiss on Charlie's forehead.

"Bathroom's right across the hall and I'm the next room over okay. Now get some sleep. 'Night."

Jack backed out of the room slowly waiting for any sign that Charlie was going to break down. As a precaution he once again left the door cracked and the hall light onas he headed back to the main room.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! I need serious help here._

Jack walked over and grabbed the phone from atop the TV. He dialed from memory and waited anxiously for someone to pick up.

"Mom?"

**oOo**

For as inauspicious their first meeting had been, things with Charlie and Jack were going great. Jack's mom had been able to calm him down that first night and give him some tips. She'd even managed to squeeze in a quick trip to make sure they had gotten well setup. Ever since their first conversation that next morning Jack and Charlie had gotten along well.

_How did I end up with such a great kid? He's making this so easy. It's not like I've ever had to deal with kids before. I know it won't last for ever but this is a good way to start._

Charlie had been energetic and enthusiastic about all the changes that had come his way. He was fitting in great at school, making new friends. The twosome had slowly, but easily fallen into a new routine. Jack would wake Charlie, pack his lunch while the boy ate breakfast, drive Charlie to school and then head to work. In the afternoons Jack would pick Charlie up from school and they'd go play at the park or fish or whatever struck their fancy. It was great, but in the back of Jack's mind there was always a little timer counting down to the end of his respite. So far there'd been no break down regarding Sarah's abandonment.

_I can't believe he's taking this so well. Maybe too well. Maybe I should make him talk to someone about it. Yeah, that'd work. Kid inherited a stubborn streak a mile wide. He's not talking until he wants to talk. I bet he'd talk to Samantha. Everyone talks to Samantha, except me._

He had yet to tell Sam about Charlie. He wanted to do it in person and he'd tried to set things up but every time they got close something came up. Sam had been out of town for a conference and then Charlie got sick. It had been a 24 hour bug he'd picked up during his first week of school. By the next weekend Jack had picked up something else. Now Jack had begun to convince himself that all these things kept coming up for a reason.

_God I miss her. I wish I could share this with her._

But it seemed fate was conspiring against them. Well maybe not both of them, but definitely against Jack. It was late on the fourth Sunday evening since Jack had been home when his cell phone rang.

"O'Neill"

"Lieutenant Colonel you're being recalled. Your flight leaves in 12 hours. You'll be briefed on the way."

_Shit! Shit! Twelve hours isn't much time. What am I going to do with Charlie? _

"Uh, Sir…there's a problem Sir."

"Jack, Kawalski's been captured. You're our best option for the retrieval. Your ass had better be on that plane."

"There's a slight complication Sir."

"O'Neill…"

"Sir, it's just that I've recently found out that I've got a kid and his mother dropped him on my doorstep and disappeared. I need some time to get someone to watch him, Sir."

There was a huff from the other end of the line.

"Fine. There's a second plane leaving tomorrow at 20:00. That gives you almost 24 hours. Consider yourself demoted if you don't make that flight."

"Sir, yes Sir!"

_There's still no way Mom can get here in time. I don't just want to ship him off again. Nobody on base knows about him. Shit!_

Jack stood from his couch and began to pace his family room. Charlie had already been put to bed, as the next day should have been a school day.

_How am I going to explain this to him? He's going to think I'm abandoning him too. Shit!_

**oOo**

The next morning Jack woke Charlie early. He grabbed Charlie's duffle from the hall closet along with his own.

"Charlie, go pack some clothes and anything else you want to take with you for a few days of vacation."

"But Dad, school just started. Where we goin?"

"I have to go away for work. You're going to go stay with Samantha. Remember I told you about her."

"She's the really smart girl you broke up with Mommy for. Mommy didn't like to talk about her."

"Yes, well…I suppose there's a good reason for that, but Samantha's a very nice person. You're going to like her a lot."

"Dad why do you have to go?"

"One of my friends is in trouble. I have to go save him."

"From the bad guys?"

"That's right buddy."

"But why do you have to go?"

"Because I'm the best and I would never forgive myself if he got hurt really bad and I could've stopped it. I'll only be gone for a few weeks. I'll be back as soon as I can I promise."

"Okay. I love you Daddy."

His mind made up Charlie picked up his duffle bag and headed for his room.

**

* * *

oOo **

Sam

Sam was walking back to her office from a long, mentally exhausting meeting with her advisor. The beginning of classes this week marked the beginning of her third year in graduate school at Stanford and she had a big presentation for her thesis committee coming up in a few weeks.

_I think Pat's more nervous about this than I am. You'd think he'd be used to this. It's not like I'm his first student…_

"Hey Carter, there's a kid in your office."

Rodney McKay, one of her lab mates and the resident of the office next to her, called out as she passed by.

_A kid? Classes have only been going a week. I'm not even TAing this semester. There's no reason for one of the undergrads to be stalking me. Pat would've said something if he was assigning me an undergrad researcher. Mckay would've said if it was Geoff or Kim. They worked here all last year, surely even someone as self-absorbed as him would be able to identify them._

Sam rounded the corner and walked through the lab to her office in the back. She was surprised to see the bright yellow duffle and matching backpack on the floor. She still couldn't see anyone in the small room.

_Oh…he meant an actual child._

The small child was almost completely hidden in the large office chair she'd managed to snag. In fact the only thing she could see from the door of her office was a pair of stubby legs since her chair had been moved to face the window putting its back the door.

"Hello?"

The feet pushed off the wall in front of them to turn the chair around. The young boy, she was pretty sure it was a boy, was looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Hi."

He glanced up through a shaggy mop of curling brown hair and his eyes were a soft golden brown.

_Wow! He looks like Jack did in those old photos that are up all over the O'Neill's. That's weird._

"I'm Sam. What's your name?"

"Charlie O'Neill."

_Oh shit! What is going on here? This is a shitty joke, Jack. Please tell me he's related to a different O'Neill._

"Hi Charlie. What are you doing here?"

"My Dad had to go on a trip for work. He said you'd watch me until Grandma could come get me."

"Your Dad huh? What's he do?"

"He flies planes and fights bad guys."

_Oh Shit! That's got to be Jack. Damn it Jack! What's going on here?_

"Dad said to give this to you. He wanted to wait, but he had to go catch a plane. … How do you catch a plane?"

Charlie handed Sam an envelope that had been sitting on her desk. Her name was written across the front in Jack's scrawling handwriting. Sam found herself surprisingly short of breath.

"Sam…how do you catch a plane? They're really big."

Sam answered him distractedly, "It's just something people say. It means that they have to get to the plane before it takes off."

"Oh. Can I get up now? Dad said I wasn't 'lowed to move til you said so."

"Umm…let's go…"

Sam held out her free hand to Charlie. She led him out of her office and down the hall to another. She knew her friend Allison volunteered with kids a lot and her lab had a parakeet in their office.

_Hopefully that'll keep him occupied while I deal with this._

"Hey Allison…This is Charlie. Could you watch him for a little bit? I have something I have to do. I thought he'd like the bird."

"No problem Sam."

"Thanks…all right Charlie. You hang out here with Allison for a little bit. I'm going to go read this letter. I'll be back soon. Okay?"

"Kay."

Charlie wandered over to the bird cage and started chatting at it. Sam smiled her thanks at Allison and walked out into the hallway and then out of the building. This wasn't something she thought she could handle inside despite the stifling midday heat. Instead she collapsed under a nearby tree fighting the urge to cry.

_And I haven't even opened the damn letter yet. Better get it over with…_

Sam tore off a corner of the envelope and slit the top open with her finger. Inside was a single sheet of paper filled with Jack's familiar writing.

Samantha,  
By now you've met my son Charlie. I wanted to introduce you in person, but now that's not possible. I can only guess what you're thinking right now, but I swear I never cheated on you.

_Jack…how could you think I'd believe that you would?_

Somehow Sarah knew when I was getting home. She ambushed me my first night back and left him with me. He's a good kid. I'm sure he won't give you any trouble. Mom's flying out to watch him, but she couldn't get a flight until tomorrow. I'm sorry to drop Charlie on you and run, but I couldn't think of anyone else to watch him until then.

_I suppose I should call Mrs. O'Neill later._

I'm so sorry about this. I can't even begin to tell you how much. I would have done this right, but Kawalski got himself captured. It sounds like I should only be gone a few weeks. I'll make this up to you when I get back. I promise. I love you.  
Always,  
Jack

Now Sam was crying, for Charlie, for Jack, for herself.

_Oh God Jack. You should've told me. I would've helped. Please come home soon. _

Sam leaned her head back against the tree and stared blankly up into its leafy canopy. She swiped absently at the tears silently rolling down her cheeks. When the tears had stopped falling she went back inside to collect Charlie. She checked her watch as she reentered the building. It was almost 2 pm and she hadn't eaten lunch yet.

"Hey Charlie, you hungry?" Sam asked as she walked him out of Allison's office. "I haven't had lunch yet."

"Me Either. Can I get a burger? And fries? And a chocolate milkshake?"

Sam smiled at Charlie's enthusiasm.

"Sure buddy."

_Okay Samantha, breath. You'll be fine as long as he's not allergic cats. Mrs O'Neill will be here soon._

"Let's go then."

Sam bent down and gave Charlie a quick hug before turning and leading him out of the building.

**oOo**

Sam had had Charlie to herself for almost two whole days before Mrs. O'Neill had managed to get out to the west coast. Sam had taken the rest of the week off and driven back down to Jack's place with them. She'd stayed through the weekend, getting to know Charlie, before heading back to school. The following weekend they'd come back up to Standford to visit.Three weeks after meeting Charlie, Sam gave her presentation to her thesis committee. When they'd accepted her proposal she'd celebrated briefly with her friends and then promptly taken the rest of the week off and headed for Jack's.

_Maybe Jack'll be home soon. He said a few weeks._

It was just about dinner time when Sam pulled into Jack's driveway. She walked around to the backdoor and let herself in, calling out in greeting. When she got no answer Sam set her bag down on the kitchen table and headed back into the main room.

_The car was out front so they should be here. It's so quiet. Charlie always makes more noise than this unless he's sleeping..._

But there was noone in the guest room that currently belonged to the little boy.

_Jack's room?_

Sam moved down the hallway and gently nudged open the door to Jack's room. Mrs O'Neill was lying on top of the covers, curled in the fetal position around one of Jack's pillows. As Sam approached she could see that the woman had been crying.

_NO! No! Please God..._

Sam's legs gave out and she collapsed on the bed next to Mrs O'Neill.

"Mom?"

Her voice wavered as she brushed a hand lightly over the other woman's shoulder. She stirred slightly at the touch; the eyes blinking open to gaze at Sam a perfect match for Jack's and Charlie's. A hand moved to cover Sam's.

"He's missing. He got his friend out, but they haven't heard from Jack in two weeks. I'm so scared Sam. He would've found a way to contact them, to contact us..."

"Charlie?"

"He's going to stay at Grace's tonight. I couldn't tell him by myself. I can barely understand myself..."

Sam pulled the other woman to a seated position and hugged her tight. Soon they were both crying. By the time the tears were done they were both too exhausted to move far. Sam fell back onto the bed while Mrs O'Neill leaned against the headboard.

"He has to be okay...I don't know what to do without him...he...I..."

A hand brushed Sam's hair back from her face. She turned into the caress and shifted so that she was pressed against Jack's mom, seeking comfort like any child.

"I know baby...I know..."

* * *

**A/N 2**: I'm not really sure how to classify this chapter. I suppose that was rather an evil place to end, oh well. Let me know what you think and it may help motivate the muse so you get the next bit faster. 


	7. MIA

**The Collective Years  
****7: MIA  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**A/N:** This chapter was very difficult to write. Hopefully it comes across okay in the end.

* * *

Jack

He never would be able to remember how he'd gotten out any better than he could remember getting caught. The last thing he could recall prior to being beaten awake in an Iraqi prison cell was pulling Kawalski out of an underground hole and pushing him towards the exit.

_One of my contacts must have betrayed me. I hope Kawalski got out…all he had to do was stumble down the hallway and out the front door and there should've been an extraction team waiting for him. Why didn't they come back for me? It must have been pretty obvious that I was in trouble. God it hurts. Nobody's telling me anything yet. Ha…as if I've been conscious long enough to ask any questions. Maybe it'll last longer this time._

Apparently they had sent a whole unit in after him, but not soon enough. Not soon enough for his health. Not soon enough for his soul. And, he was pretty sure, no where near soon enough for his sanity. He vaguely remembered American voices soothing him as he'd been carted out of the prison on a stretcher. And most of the time when he woke up he could remember that the tubes and wires running into and out of him were helping. But the flashbacks and drug induced dreams were killer. When the pain had been reality his hallucinations had been beautiful, but now that he was safe his dreams were not. And these dreams were much to realistic, Jack's mind recreating his torture and questioning in Technicolor at his weakest moments.

_They did ask a lot of questions or at least the same question a lot of times. Some people just don't know how to take 'No' for an answer. And their sense of humor…seriously lacking._

Unfortunately Jack's thoughts made him smile and his face was so badly bruised that smiling hurt. The pain led to coughing which led to more pain from his cracked ribs and alerted one of the nurses.

"Lt. Colonel O'Neill? Are you awake, Sir?"

Jack grunted. That was about all he could manage even after almost a week in a hospital. He wasn't quite sure how long it'd been as he'd been sedated through most of it.

"Wh'r?"

The nurse handed Jack some water for his dry throat.

"An Army field hospital in Saudi Arabia Sir. It was the closest one to your location upon extraction."

"H'lng?"

"How long were you gone or how long have you been back?"

Jack just looked at the nurse. He wanted the answers to both questions.

"You've been here for five days. From your injuries, the extent of both the damage and the healing, I gather you were gone at least three months. Since you're awake now, I'll change your bandages and we'll try to get some food into you."

The nurse disappeared briefly. She returned carrying enough first aid supplies to dress an army and leading a young doctor.

"You're looking much better today Colonel O'Neill. Baring any unforeseen complications I believe we'll be able to get you transferred to a hospital state side within the next few days. You're going home Sir."

_Home? Charlie? Samantha? Oh God do they know? What am I going to do? I can't let them see me like this. I can't do this to them._

"No!"

Both the doctor and the nurse looked appalled at Jack's outburst. The doctor was first to recover.

"Unfortunately that's not really an option Sir. The facilities here just aren't set up for long term treatment besides everyone should be home for the holidays. Now, get some more rest Colonel. It'll help you heal."

Jack's head flopped back against his pillow and his eyes shut.

_I don't want to get more rest. I've been resting long enough. I've been out of it for even longer. I just want things to be normal again._

Soon the pain caused by the movement required for the nurse to change his bandages became too much and Jack passed into unconsciousness once more.

* * *

Sam

The trip from Stanford had been frustratingly long.

_I should have known better than to try to make the drive on a Friday afternoon. Weekend traffic plus holiday traffic makes driving a very bad idea. Thank God I finally made it!_

Sam stepped out of the car and headed into the house. No one answered her as she called out a greeting.

_They're probably upstairs packing for the flight home tomorrow._

Christmas was on Wednesday and Sam, Charlie, and Mrs. O'Neill were flying back East the next morning. Sam had left work early to drive down to join them for the flight. It still amazed her how quickly the O'Neill's had dropped everything to be there for Charlie. Mr. O'Neill had flown out after they'd found out about Jack and stayed for two weeks before he'd had to go back to work. He'd flown out for Thanksgiving and now they were going home for Christmas. Sam called out again.

"Hello? Anybody home? Charlie?"

The boy came hurtling down the hall and threw himself into Sam's arms as she crouched down to his level. She could feel his tears as he tucked his head into her neck. Startled, she patted him on the back.

"Charlie? What's the matter?"

"Grandma's crying again. She won't tell me what's wrong."

"Is she in her room?"

Charlie nodded, hugging Sam tighter. Sam rose, settling Charlie on her hip and walked down the hall turning into Charlie's room, the former guest bedroom. A partially packed bag lay open on the bed with small stack of clothes spread around it.

"All right Charlie, you finish packing. I'll go check on Grandma."

Sam sat him down on the bed and ruffled his hair. He swiped at his eyes and forced a small smile in Sam's direction. She smiled back reassuringly, kissed him on the forehead and then headed for Jack's room which his mother had taken over. Muffled sobs echoed softly in the hall.

"Mom? Mom?"

Sam whispered softly as she entered the room. Mrs. O'Neill was once again curled on her side hugging one of Jack's pillows and crying.

_Oh Shit! No! Jack?_

Sam's knees gave out on her and she fell to the floor a step inside the door. Only a harsh whisper gave voice to her pain.

"Jack?"

At the sound of his name Mrs. O'Neill's sobs paused. Sam couldn't read her expression.

"They… found him. Sam, he's alive."

The sobbing started again, but now Sam could detect the undertone of hysterical laughter and relief.

"Alive?"

Sam pushed herself up and stumbled over to the bed.

"Alive!"

"Thank God!" Sam whispered and rested her forehead against the edge of the bed. Her tears began flowing freely.

"They're sending him back here. He'll be on base before Christmas."

* * *

Jack

_Where am I? They must have slipped something extra in my drugs. Did they send me home? Is that why I'm awake? Someone's talking…I know that voice…I haven't heard it in a long time, not even in hallucinations…_

Jack's eyes began to flutter as he fought off the effects of the extra sedatives that had been pumping steadily into his body for the past 24 hours to keep him under during his transfer. Involved in their conversation, the people hovering at the foot of his bed missed the first signs of his waking.

_Mom? I must be back in the States. _

"M…mom?"

When nothing happened Jack forced his eyes open. Through the small slits he managed, Jack could make out three figures at the foot of his bed. The silhouettes of his parents were easily recognizable after all these years. The white lab coat on the third identified the small woman as a doctor. This time Jack forced himself to be a little louder.

"Mom?"

The three figures turned and moved towards the head of the bed.

"Thank God. Jack, baby, we were so worried about you."

Mrs. O'Neill leaned down and squeezed his hand while dropping a light kiss on his forehead. Jack returned the squeeze and then shifted his attention to the other side of his bed.

"Dad"

"Son. It's good to see you. You gave us quite a scare."

Mr. O'Neill brushed a hand over Jack's shoulder.

_The drugs must still be working…nothing hurts yet. How come they didn't give me this earlier?_

A small movement caught Jack's eye as the doctor stepped up from behind his father.

"Janet?"

The petite brunette smiled.

"Hi Jack. I'd say it's nice to see you, but not like this. Someone did a number on you…I'm going to leave you to visit for a few minutes then you need to get some more rest. They can come back again tomorrow."

Janet smiled again and moved off to check on another patient. She came back again ten minutes later and injected something into Jack's IV line.

"Time for you to get some more sleep. You can stay until he's asleep, then I don't want to see you back here for 24 hours. We need to reevaluate his injuries and start formulating a recovery plan."

"What about Christmas Dr. Frasier?"

"Don't worry Mr. O'Neill. That's why I'm keeping your visits today and tomorrow so limited. Hopefully he'll be rested enough for an extended visit two days from now. Is there anything else you need from me today?"

"Sam?"

"She's watching Charlie. They'll be here tomorrow."

"Thank you."

Jack included both Janet and his parents.

"I'll see you again later tonight Jack."

Janet once again took her leave of the family. Jack squeezed his mom's hand and tried to smile at his dad as he felt his eyes begin to drift shut. The last thing he felt before falling back asleep was both his parents leaning in to kiss his forehead.

_I feel like a kid again. Home…safe…_

* * *

Sam

Sam had been surprised when the O'Neills returned from their first visit with Jack less than two hours after they'd left. The official call had come early that morning informing them that Jack had arrived at Edwards and that he would be allowed two visitors that afternoon. She'd volunteered to stay home with Charlie so that Jack's parents could assure themselves of his survival. Surprise had turned into annoyance as she realized that they were not going to answer her questions about their visit.

"You'll be able to see for yourself tomorrow."

_God Damn it! Is that all she can say? I am so sick of hearing that. Throw me a freakin bone here folks._

Sam smiled at herself and nervously twisted her ring.

_Jack you better be okay. If there's something permanently wrong because of this I wish they'd just tell me now._

The doorbell interrupted Sam's increasingly morbid thoughts.

_Who the…_

Out in the backyard Sam could barely hear a faint feminine laugh from the front of the house.

"Sam," called Mr. O'Neill, "could you come in here please? Jack's doctor has stopped by to update us on his condition."

Sam sighed and took a deep breath before heading back into the house. As she turned from closing the sliding glass door a familiar voice addressed her.

"Hey Sam," said Janet as she walked across the room.

The petite brunette wrapped her arms around Sam in a hard hug.

"Janet"

Sam's whisper was amazed as she returned the fierce hug.

"They won't tell me about Jack. I need to know. Jan, I can't handle the suspense. What if something's really wrong?"

"Ssshh…it's okay honey. He's going to be all right. There's nothing broken that won't mend. I promise…he's going to be fine."

Sam collapsed against Janet in relief as her friend's words began to penetrate her fear. Janet helped Sam over to the nearby couch and sat down alongside her. Janet rubbed her hand soothingly on Sam's back. Sam huffed out a breath and sank back into the couch.

"Tell me Janet."

"He'll be fine… eventually. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. They had to break and reset a lot of his bones because they'd healed incorrectly. His right knee will never be the same and withdrawal's going to be hell on him. It's going to be a long road back Sam."

"But he'll make it?"

"Physically, he should recover. Mentally, it'll be a lot tougher, but knowing how stubborn you both are…I'm more optimistic than I'd be otherwise. He's going to need a lot of help. Sam…don't let him push you away. I'm sure he's going to try at some point. Don't let him. He's going to need help and he won't like it."

"I'll do everything I can Janet. I promise, besides he's got more motivation than just me these days."

The sound of shuffling feet behind them caught their attention. Sam peered back over her shoulder and smiled at Charlie. She motioned for him to come around in front of the couch.

"Hey Janet…have you met Jack's son Charlie?"

**oOo**

Janet had been surprised to find out that Jack had a son but she, like every adult he'd ever met, had been charmed by Charlie and now she was watching him as Sam sat with Jack as he slept. Sam had started sitting in a chair beside Jack's bed without touching him, but gradually the need to touch him had overwhelmed her. Now she was perched on the edge of the bed facing Jack and lightly tracing his features.

"You gave us such a scare Jack. Charlie missed you. He's done so well at school. He kept all his tests and projects to show you when you got back. I missed you too Jack. Please don't do this to me ever again."

Sam leaned forward and gently kissed Jack waking him.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty."

Neglecting Janet's warning about Jack's broken ribs Sam leant down over Jack and wound her arms tightly around his neck.

"Don't ever do that to me again. God, Jack I was so worried."

Sam buried her face in the crook of Jack's neck. Jack's one good arm lifted in an attempted hug, but he only got his hand to the middle of her back.

"Sammie."

Sam lifted her head up and kissed Jack hard. She shifted restlessly when Jack deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Unfortunately this put too much pressure on Jack's ribs and he flinched, bringing Sam up short.

"Oh God, I'm sorry."

Sam pulled back and set up, separating herself from Jack completely. The hand on her back came to rest in her lap. Jack squeezed her thigh lightly.

"It's fine."

"Fine…Jack…I guess some things never change. I missed you."

"I dreamed of you. This still feels like I'm dreaming. I don't want to wake up. Don't wake me up."

"I can't wake you up Jack. We're already awake and I'm not going anywhere, except to go get Charlie so he can see you awake."

Sam stood and backed away from Jack's bed. She paused as she turned to leave the room. Sam took her Claddagh ring from her right hand.

"Jack…I know you haven't asked yet, but I just wanted you to know that I'll be ready when you do. I'm so glad you made it back. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't."

Sam stared at Jack as she deliberately placed the ring on her left ring finger.

"Samantha…"

"I made my choice four months ago Jack and none of this has changed it. Now your son is waiting for his turn to see you."

With that Sam left Jack's room in search of Janet and Charlie.

**

* * *

A/N: I don't really like this chapter but I couldn't come up with another way to do this. There are so many Jack whumping and recovery stories out there by writers much better than I. So I feel like I made a mess out of this and I'm somewhat nervous about putting this out there. Positive reinforcement will go a long way towards helping me get the next chapter out.**


	8. Inevitable

**The Collective Years  
****8: Inevitable  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** It never changes.

**A/N:** This chapter is dedicated to Annunaki, who asked for Dark Jack: I hope this works; and to my loyal reviewers: Bookworm37 and Spacemonkey67.

* * *

Jack

It was a week for celebration, the final week before the new school year; almost one year from the day that Sarah had left Charlie with Jack. Charlie had turned 7 and Jack had been approved for light duty.

_I never thought I'd be this happy to be flying a desk. It's been 8 months since I've been back and if I'd had to spend another week doing nothing but go to physical therapy I'd have gone nuts. Thank God for small favors!_

Jack and Charlie were driving up to spend the weekend celebrating with Sam, Jack's first solo long drive. They'd gotten off the major highways and traced the back roads of the San Francisco Bay Area following a route that had become familiar in the past few months. After a quick stop at Sam's apartment to drop off their bags they headed to campus. As Jack turned onto Stanford's famous Palm Drive a flashback hit him hard. Daylight flashbacks were unusual these days, which had been one of the factors in his clearance, but when they hit there was nothing Jack could do but ride them out.

_Shit! Not now. We're almost there… Nope, not going to make it._

"Charlie, I'm going to pull over."

"Okay Dad."

Jack had just enough time to pull the car over and shut it down before the nightmare dragged him completely under and the hot car morphed into an oppressive Iraqi prison cell. For long moments Jack felt only the pain of his tormentors whips, heard only their taunting. Then he heard something that didn't belong to the image his mind was projecting.

"I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am."

_Charlie. I have to find Charlie._

Suddenly Jack was able to move through the hallucination. He scrambled from the cell and out into the hallway. He had opened the prison door and taken his first step into the sunlight when a blast threw him forward through the air. Jack face-planted into his steering wheel as the car was plowed the rest of the way off the road and into one of the large palm trees lining the road. The impact jolted Jack out of his nightmare long enough for him to see Charlie fly through the windshield into the same tree the car was wrapped around, before he dropped unconscious.

* * *

Sam

Sam sat in her office. Her computer was running but she wasn't facing it. Her chair was facing the window, but Sam wasn't staring at the beautiful day outside. She was watching the sun sparkle off her diamond solitaire. The white gold gleamed and the princess cut diamond reflected rainbows onto the wall. Jack had officially proposed three weeks ago and the novelty of the ring had yet to wear off. The ringing phone startled her from her reverie.

_That should be Jack. They're a little late. Probably hit some traffic._

"Jack?"

"Samantha Carter?"

"Speaking…"

"This is Walter Harriman, Campus Security. Do you know a Jack O'Neill?"

"Yes…"

_What the hell is going on?_

"Ma'am there's been an accident. If you meet me out in front of your building I'll take you to the hospital."

The handset dropped from Sam's slackened grip. What seemed like an eternity later a repetitive noise recalled her attention.

"Miss Carter? Miss Carter?"

"I'm here," Sam sighed into the phone.

_We just can't get a break can we? Jack…_

"Miss Carter, there's an officer waiting for you in the lobby of your building. You are still located in Varian Labs?"

"Yes."

"Good. I want you to hang up the phone and go downstairs. Officer Harriman will fill you in on the ride."

Sam slammed the phone back into its cradle without acknowledging the order. She didn't even bother to turn off her computer as she threw her wallet, cell phone, and keys into her purse and sprinted from the room. She nearly knocked McKay over as she plowed by him to the stairs. The young man who met her in the building lobby hardly seemed old enough to be in law enforcement. He helped her into the back seat of the campus security car and followed her in, allowing his partner to drive.

_Go faster!_

"What happened?"

"Well Ma'am from what we know so far you husband"

"Fiancée"

"…Fiancée had pulled over to the side of the rode on Palm Drive but stayed in the car. Not long after another car struck the vehicle and pushed it into one of the palms. Your fiancée suffered only minor injuries but your son was thrown from the car."

"Charlie's not mine."

The response was automatic and out of Sam's mouth before she'd fully comprehended Harriman's summation.

"Oh God! Is he…"

"He was alive when the paramedics arrived."

"How did you know to call me?"

"One of the EMTs, Siler, said he'd worked in your lab. He recognized Jack and Charlie."

"Oh."

_At least he's useful sometimes. Jack what were you doing? Why didn't Charlie have his seat belt on? Pulled over…oh no! Jack must've been having a hallucination. Shit!_

**oOo**

When Janet had first warned her that Jack was suffering from flashback, hallucinations, and nightmares she'd chalked it up to lack of time and the copious drugs in his system. But they'd only gotten worse as the time had increased and the amount of drugs had decreased. The first night after Jack had been released from the hospital Sam had fallen asleep next to him on his bed, still not quite understanding. She'd been woken by Jack's restless flailing and made the mistake of touching him in an attempt to wake him. He'd thrown her across his body and the bed and onto the floor in one swift movement that belied his injuries. He hadn't even woken himself. The next night Sam had slept on the floor.

When she'd tried to get Jack to talk about the dreams he'd ignored her. The mischievous twinkle in his eye, that even his special forces training had not been able to quench, disappeared completely, replaced by a blank nothingness. It was this blankness, this complete suppression of self that scared Sam the most, though the anger that sometimes followed an incident was almost as bad.

The breakthrough had only come after two frustrating weeks of dealing with these terrors. They'd fought that morning.

"Jack, you need to see someone, talk to someone, about this."

"No."

"Jack…"

"I said, 'No.'"

"You can't keep doing this. As long as you're having flashback this severe and this often you're never going to be able to go back to work. And I'm starting to get scared to leave Charlie with you."

"Damn it Samantha! I would never hurt you or Charlie. You should know that."

"Not intentionally, but Jack you have no control when this happens. You threw me across the bed without even waking up. What if it had been Charlie? He would have been across the room."

"Fine! I can't control these things. Is that what you want to hear? Do you think I WANT to be like this? To wake up panicked in the middle of the night because the last thing I remember is a prison guard coming after me with a hot poker? To suddenly remember being tied down and wonder whether it's going to be acid, poison, knives or something much worse that comes next? I don't want to be like this, but there is no way in Hell I'm going to talk to some obsequious pissant who's never been anywhere more foreign than his own backyard. If you're that worried, leave. Take Charlie with you if you need to, but don't expect me to forget it if you do."

"Jack…" she'd begged through her tears. Pleaded with him to calm down. Tried to convince him that she wasn't leaving. That she wanted to work this out. Nothing had registered. Jack had angrily thrown on a pair of jeans and stormed out the back door. He'd eventually come back inside and collapsed back into bed, but only after he'd used up the small amount of endurance he'd managed to build, pacing the yard. When Jack had woken the second time he'd pretended that the argument had never happened and gone about his usual morning physical therapy routine.

That night a loud crash from the kitchen had interrupted Charlie's bedtime story. Sam had continued reading only half paying attention to the story, listening out for something that might require her intervention. There'd been a couple more random noises and then the sound of something knocking into the wall just beyond Charlie's door. Sam had finished the book, tucked Charlie in, kissed him good night, and edged cautiously out into the hallway.

"Jack?"

Jack was collapsed on the floor next to Charlie's room with his head back against the wall.

"I could hear you…I was there, but I could hear you and you didn't belong."

"That's right Jack I wasn't there."

"In my mind you were. I saw you every day, but I couldn't get to you. Today I went looking for you and I found myself, here."

"I'm right here Jack. I'll always be here."

Sam had seated herself on the floor next to Jack and wrapped him in a tight embrace. They'd stayed there until Jack's pain had become too much. That night, during Jack's nightmare, Sam had sat on the floor and read from the first book she'd pulled from Jack's shelves, _Foundation_.

**oOo**

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Charlie must have unbuckled to get a book from the back seat. Fuck! Jack is never going to forgive himself. How do I…_

The campus cruiser pulled into the Emergency Room bay. Harriman clambered out of the car and ran around to let Sam out, but she was quicker than he. Sam beat him into the ER but stopped dead just inside, unable to move under the harsh fluorescent lights. After a short conversation with the nurse at the desk Harriman gently grasped Sam's elbow and led her to a small curtained area. Jack lay unconscious on a gurney with the requisite accompaniment of tubes and wires. Harriman fetched a folding chair for Sam and placed it alongside the bed. Then handing her a card and murmuring a polite goodbye he left.

_Jack! Jack, you have to wake up. I can't do this again. Please…_

Sam reached forward and clasped Jack's hand in hers.

_At least you're not covered in casts this time._

Sam ran her other hand over Jack's body in a quick check for obvious fractures.

"Well at least Janet can't complain that you've destroyed all her lovely handiwork."

Sam sat down in the uncomfortable metal chair and settled in for a long talk with Jack. She filled her one-sided conversation with pitiful jokes praying that ones of these times he would wake and laugh at her.

* * *

Jack

_Sam…_

Once again she was calling him, the sound of her voice leading him through the maze of pain and fear back to reality.

"Sam?'

"Jack? Thank God! I thought I told you that you weren't allowed to scare me ever again."

"What happened? Why am I back in a hospital? Where's Charlie?"

"You don't remember?"

"Would I be asking if I did?"

Sam rolled her eyes. Jack tried to capture the elusive memory.

"We were coming to visit you…almost here. I started to have a flashback so I pulled over. I remember stopping the car. I could hear Charlie…where's Charlie?"

"I don't know Jack. I haven't seen anybody to ask yet and I didn't want to leave you alone."

"I pulled over. How did I end up here?"

"Another car hit you from behind….Jack…the officer said Charlie was thrown from the car."

"And you haven't checked on him yet! Damn it Samantha, where is my son?"

"I don't know Jack."

"And you haven't tried to find out? I thought you cared more than that. Guess I was wrong. Nurse! Nurse!"

"Jack! I just wanted to make sure you were okay first. Jack…"

"I'm sooo glad you have your priorities all figured out. You didn't think he'd be my first thought when I woke up?"

Jack ignored Sam's response and kept yelling for a nurse. A few moments later one came scurrying around the curtain. She automatically reached for Jack's wrist and casually began checking his pulse.

"I see you're awake and feeling better."

"Actually, I feel like Shit! Where is my son? Charlie O'Neill?"

"They took him straight in for surgery. I'll notify them that you're awake. It's been less than half an hour so I doubt they're done yet, but somebody should be down as soon as there's news. I'll make sure they know you're awake."

The nurse made a few notes on Jack's chart and left.

* * *

Sam

Sam was anxious, worried, and desperately trying to ignore the fact that Jack had been ignoring her for the past hour. He'd even rolled on to his side so that his back was to her.

"Colonel O'Neill, Ms Carter."

A man about Jack's age dressed in scrubs stood at the foot of Jack's bed.

"I'm Dr. Warner. I helped work on Charlie and I'll be handling both your cases as long as you're here with us."

Jack rolled onto his back and pushed himself so that he was mostly sitting upright at the head of the bed. He knocked Sam's hand away as she tried to rearrange the pillows to support him better.

"So Doc…What's going on? Nobody's told us anything about Charlie yet."

"Charlie was non-responsive when the EMTs arrived at the scene and he coded on the ride over. The rescue workers were able to restart his heart but he sustained serious internal injuries. Once we got him into surgery we were able to stop the internal bleeding but he coded twice more on the table and we weren't able to get him to breath on his own. Colonel, your son is currently in a coma and breathing with the help of a respirator."

"Which means what exactly Dr. Warner?"

"Well Ma'am it means that because of the machines he's physically alive, but …"

"He's a vegetable."

"Yes sir."

"Fuck!"

Jack collapsed back against the headboard.

_Oh God! How could you do this to him? Hasn't he suffered enough?_

The doctor waited silently for a little while, allowing them to absorb the news.

"You are going to have some important decisions to make soon. But for now he's been given a room on the fourth floor and he's allowed visitors. Ms. Carter, why don't you head up there now? Colonel, when I spoke to Dr. Frasier about your medical records she asked me to double check a few things before I let you go. So if you give me a few minutes I'll have you all checked out and ready to go."

The doctor unceremoniously maneuvered Sam out into the open area beyond Jack's bed and jerked the curtain closed behind her.

_Wha…guess I might as well take his advice and go see Charlie._

Sam headed for the elevator she thought she remembered seeing on her way in.

**oOo**

The fourth floor was quieter than the ER had been. The majority of the floor was double rooms, laid out on either side of a hallway which branched off from the main lobby and nurses' station in the center of the building. The elevator opened right into the lobby and Sam stopped to ask directions.

"Charlie O'Neill?"

"Huh? Oh, the new kid. Just down the hall third door on the left. He's the only one in the room right now."

"Thanks."

Sam walked down the hall and entered the room indicated. It was noisier in there, the silence broken by the hum of machines and the beeping of monitors. Charlie was in the bed closest to the window.

_He looks so small, dwarfed by the bed and the machines. So quiet. He's never this still unless he's sleeping._

"Charlie?"

_Somebody please tell me this is all a bad dream?_

* * *

Jack

Sam was still standing frozen in the middle of Charlie's room when Jack wheeled himself in. The Doc had double checked whatever Janet had been worried about and then cleared him. Jack could leave the hospital whenever he was ready, but Dr. Warner had made him promise to use a wheelchair the entire time he was on the premises. Apparently Janet had told the Doc to threaten him with big needles if he protested, which he had.

"Come on Doc. You said I was fine. I don't need this. I haven't been out of my old one for that long."

"Which is exactly why Dr. Fraiser and I want you in this one. Just in case. And your doctor feels strongly enough about it that if you don't cooperate I'm supposed to let her know so that she's ready for you with the big needles when you get back."

He'd given in after that. Of course the arguing had been mostly for show anyways. Jack was still too shell-shocked from the news about Charlie to put much effort into avoiding a wheelchair, especially if it meant he got to see his son faster. Now, looking at his son's bruised face and unnaturally still body he wasn't sure why he'd been in such a rush to confront this reality.

'_Cause you were hoping it was just someone's idea of a sick joke. Now I just want it to be a dream._

Jack reached out and pinched Sam.

"OW!"

"Not a dream then. Shit!"

"Jack…"

Jack wheeled around Sam and pulled up as close to the bed as possible. He took one of Charlie's hands in both of his and rested his forehead on them.

"Charlie…"

The soft touch of Sam's hands on his shoulders startled him. He jerked and tensed, but didn't lift his head. Her hands feathered over his back and shoulders before slipping so that her arms were around his neck. Sam bent down behind him and resting her chin on his right shoulder, hugged him tight.

"I'm so sorry Jack. I know how much you love him. I love him too. He may not be mine biologically, but I was with him every weekend and holiday while you were gone and since you've been back. I love him because he's charming, intelligent, and good hearted, but on top of all that I love him because he's a part of you, even if he's not a part of me. Talk to me Jack. I'll understand."

But Jack remained silent.

_I can't Sam. Don't you see? This is entirely my fault. This is exactly what you warned me would happen. I had a flashback and Charlie got hurt. I don't deserve you and obviously someone's decided that I don't deserve Charlie either. Now I wish you had left. At least then you'd both still be alive._

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Ms Carter…could you come out to the nurses' station with me. There's some paperwork that needs to be filled out."

With another quick squeeze Sam followed the doctor out of the room, leaving Jack alone with his dying son.

* * *

Sam

"Thank you Ms Carter."

The doctor grabbed a clipboard full of papers and led her to a small cluster of chairs in the lobby. Sam began to scan the papers in front of her. It quickly became obvious that they weren't normal insurance papers.

"Dr. Warner?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you tell me what exactly these forms are for?"

"You catch on quickly Ms. Carter. Those are organ donation forms. Word travels quickly. Apparently Charlie is a good match to a young girl on the heart transplant list who's a patient here. According to her doctors her heart will give out within the month and there's very little we can do for her once that happens without a transplant."

_Shit! That was fast! I, we need more time. Jack's never going to go for it this quickly._

"Um, Dr. Warner, I don't know what Janet told you, but I have no right to make decisions regarding Charlie. He's not my son. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to ask Jack."

Sam stood up and handed the clipboard back to the doctor. She walked back into Charlie's room and resumed her position behind Jack.

"Jack…the doctor...I…it wasn't my place. I told him he had to talk to you."

"What?"

"There's a girl…she needs a heart transplant. They…Charlie…he's a match."

"No."

"Jack…"

"No. I can't kill my own child. I don't care…"

"And if he dies anyways and Julie's heart gives out before another match can be found?"

Jack's head jerked up towards the doctor as he continued.

"Because if you do nothing that is the most probable outcome. Your son is never going to be as he was before, even if by some miracle he does wake up. If you do nothing you are merely prolonging your agony and his suffering while denying another family a chance at happiness."

"I can't kill my son."

"He's already brain dead."

"I…"

"Dr. Warner, give us a moment."

Sam cut through Jack's half formed response. The doctor shifted his attention from Jack, assessed Sam's determination. He nodded in agreement and stepped out of the room.

"Jack…just think about it for a while. I'll be here, whatever you decide."

Sam moved from behind Jack to perch on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.

_How do you make a decision like this? How do you give up the possibility, no matter how small, of life with your child? Even if it means the life of another? How do you choose between a negligible chance at your own happiness and the surety of someone else's joy? Jack never did put himself first…_

**

* * *

A/N: Oooohhh! I'm mean. Nasty cliffhanger! Don't worry, I'm already working on the next chapter.**


	9. Remembering

**The Collective Years  
****9: Remembering  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**A/N: **To those of you who are incredibly optimistic…Sorry! I have a very Matrix opinion on AUs and peoples' abilities to truly inhabit perfect realities, hence all the messy depressingness of this fic.

* * *

Sam

_Damn, I'm going to be late. I knew I shouldn't have had lunch with Joe. I always end up loosing track of time when I'm with him, but being late to the first meeting of the year is not good. Oh well, it's only a few minutes._

Sam pushed open the building's door and quickly walked down the hallway. The class room door was open and she could hear the Star Gazers Committee Chair's voice floating towards her.

"Welcome back everyone, since we're mostly all here I'd like to start by introducing our new Air Force liaison and interim facility director, Colonel Jonathan O'Neill."

Sam froze at the name.

_You've got to be kidding me! Okay, just relax. It could just be a coincidence, a completely different O'Neill._

"Colonel O'Neill is on loan to us here at the University of Colorado from Peterson AFB for six months. Hopefully we'll be able to convince him to stick around after that."

_All right Samantha…suck it up and walk in there. Standing out here is not going to resolve anything._

As she turned the corner and entered the room, a familiar voice issued from the man facing away from her.

"Thank you Dr. Duncan, and please call me Jack. I look forward to getting to know you all."

_Oh SHIT! I can't…_

Sam's knees started to buckle and she grabbed the door frame. She started to back out but Davis noticed her.

"Ah, Samantha, nice of you to join us."

"Knock it off Davis. Have a good lunch with Joe, Sam?"

Rosa was the only other woman on the SGC and she'd become part of Sam's small circle of friends. Sam was stuck. She pushed off the wall and stepped forward as Jack twisted in his seat to see the cause of the commotion. Sam steeled herself and pasted a neutral smile on her face as she met his gaze.

"Hi Jack. I'm Samantha Carter."

She held out her hand for him to shake.

* * *

Jack

He'd known that she worked at the University and that she was a member of this committee. It was one of the main reasons he'd agreed to this particular assignment. He'd expected her to be at the meeting, but when she hadn't been there when he first arrived he'd been somewhat relieved. Now as he turned to her he was shocked. Knowing and expecting were vastly different from the reality he now faced. Her soft blonde hair had been cut to fall teasingly around her face and down to her shoulders. The stylish grey slacks and pale blue blouse showed off her sleek, athletic figure.

_She's only gotten more beautiful. I can't believe I stayed away for so long. I am an IDIOT!_

"Hi Jack. I'm Samantha Carter."

_Whaat! Of course you are. Who else would you be? Why else would I be here?_

Belatedly Jack took the hand she held out to him, but instead of shaking it he lifted it and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

"Enchanted."

The hand in his grasp twitched and jerked away, recoiling at his touch.

_What have I done?_

Jack could only watch as Sam moved around the table and sat as far away from him as possible. He couldn't hear what Rosa said to her, but Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. She ran her hands down her face, took a deep breath and brought her focus back to the meeting. Davis Duncan nodded and began the remainder of the meeting.

The meeting had taken a little less than half an hour. Shuffling papers, everyone rose from their seats at the table and began milling around. Eight of the committee members surrounded Jack, eager to greet him. The ninth, Davis, was patiently waiting to take him to his new office. The tenth was running out of the room as quickly as he'd left her life years ago.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back."

Jack extricated himself from the cluster of faculty and fellow stargazers to follow Sam out into the hallway.

"Samantha…Wait!"

She ignored him and kept walking away. Jack quickened his step to reach her just before she got to the door. He grabbed her arm and tugged so that she spun to face him. Her gaze snapped to his and her eyes flashed as she pulled her arm free.

"What!"

Jack flinched at the venom in her voice.

"Samantha, I… Why did you introduce yourself like we've never met before?"

"Because we haven't."

"Huh?"

One of Sam's hands rose to worry the thin gold chain around her neck.

"Jack…I haven't seen or heard from you since you walked out in the middle of Charlie's wake. I don't know you anymore. The man I knew would never have abandoned his family like that."

"I couldn't stay there."

"So you disappeared for more than five years? You know what…never mind. I don't know why you left. And I don't want to know why you're back. Just leave me alone. I've been content here. I'm not going to let you screw this up!"

"Just give me a chance to…"

"You had your chance Jack. You left me. You left Charlie. From here on out we haven't met before. It was nice to meet you Colonel O'Neill. I hope you enjoy your time here Sir."

Sam spun back away from Jack and pushed agitatedly at the heavy door. It groaned open and Jack could only watch as she slipped out of his life. For minutes after she left the building he did nothing but stare at the door.

_Well that went well. What did you expect? That she'd just jump back into your arms? What now? How do I start getting her back?_

"Colonel O'Neill? Are you ready to take the trip over to the observatory? We'll get you set up in your new office."

Jack took a deep breath and turned back to Davis with his game face in place.

* * *

Sam

_I can't stay here. I'm gonna loose it and there's no place on campus I can do that._

Sam wiped away the tears that had begun to form at the corners of her eyes and walked to her car as quickly as she could without attracting attention. She nearly broke down at her car but she managed to hold herself together long enough to climb inside. By the time she'd pulled out of her parking space and started towards her place tears were trailing down her cheeks. The drive to her house was short, no more than ten minutes, but Sam could barely see as she parked the car in her driveway. She yanked her purse from the seat next to her, slammed the car door and stormed up her front walk. Inside, she tossed her purse on its usual table and promptly collapsed onto her couch sobbing, finally allowing her emotions voice.

_How dare he? Did he really think that I would just fall back into his arms? I have a life now. He chose not to be a part of it. Why does this hurt so much?_

Sam yanked on the long necklace she always wore, pulling it from beneath her shirt. Silently she stared at the two rings it held and remembered.

**oOo**

Sam had driven down for the weekend to visit Jack and Charlie and to welcome Janet and Daniel back from their honeymoon.

_I can't believe they waited so long to get married. Six years, for cryin out loud! Thank you Jack._

From what Janet had told Sam, since they'd been reunited, the timing had just never been right. Between their schooling and Daniel's gallivanting around the world on various digs neither of them had had the time or inclination to plan a wedding. On the night of her bachelorette party Janet had confessed that seeing Jack after his rescue had finally driven home the point that life was too short to waste and motivated her to start planning. The actual wedding had been a small affair, thrown together within two months and for their honeymoon Daniel had taken Janet to see some of the place he'd worked over the years.

_I can't wait to see their pictures and hear Jan's stories._

She should have known something was up when Jack had told her that instead of getting together with their friends the first day of her visit Daniel and Janet had agreed to watch Charlie so the two of them could go out alone. They'd driven out to Agua Dulce and take a short stroll around Vasquez Rocks Park. Then Jack had pulled a bag of clothes out of the trunk and sent her off to the bathroom to change. Inside she'd been surprised to find a halter top cocktail dress in pale pink silk that was brand new and fit her perfectly. Jack had even remembered to pack appropriate underwear and shoes.

_I bet Janet was in on this._

She'd emerged from the bathroom to find Jack waiting for her next to the car dressed in a suit. From there Jack had driven them to small French restaurant where he'd reserved a table and pre-ordered dinner. If it had been anybody else she would have seen it coming from a mile away, but it had been so traditional.

_What on earth is he up to? Is he going to propose? Nah, he wouldn't do something this cliché…_

"Samantha?"

Jack's quiet question had interrupted Sam's scattered thoughts as she studied the romantic atmosphere.

"Yes Jack?"

"There's something I need to ask you…"

Jack slid from his seat and knelt on the floor in front of her.

_Oh God! He IS going to propose isn't he?_

"Samantha…you've seen me at my best and my worst…and you've stood by me through all of it…I don't know how to live my life without you anymore and I don't want to ever have to. Samantha Carter will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Jack pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and opened it before turning it towards her.

_It's beautiful._

Sam was captivated by the play of light across the diamond's surface and she reached a hand out to pluck the ring from its cushion. She held it in front of her, twisting it in the light.

"Samantha?"

_Oh, right!_

"Yes Jack."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes Jack."

Sam smiled indulgently and slipped the ring onto her finger to join her Claddagh ring. She slid from her own seat to kneel mirroring him on the floor, and then she used her hands to frame his face and kissed him passionately. The smattering of applause from fellow patrons and the staff brought Sam back to reality. She smiled sheepishly at the crowd, rose and led Jack from the restaurant. Upon returning to Jack's place they took full advantage of the fact that Charlie wasn't home.

**oOo**

Jack had decided, when he couldn't get a hold of Sarah, to hold Charlie's funeral back on the east coast so that he could be buried in the O'Neill family plot. Janet had taken care of all the arrangements for transporting Charlie's body and Jack's parents had taken care of everything else. So now they were sitting in the O'Neill's living room the night before Charlie's funeral, surrounded by people. Jack hadn't spoken since signing the papers to have his son taken off the respirator, effectively ending Charlie's life. So Sam wasn't surprised that he was silent, even here, surrounded by friends and family.

"Can I get you anything?"

Mark dropped a hand on Sam's shoulder, and pulled her gaze away from Jack who sat alone in a corner. Sam turned and smiled weakly at her brother.

"No, thanks."

"Is everything okay Sam?"

"Honestly? No. But hopefully it will be, some day."

Mark kissed her lightly on the forehead and then went to join Catherine, who was sitting with Daniel and Janet. Sam moved from the wall she'd been leaning on and began to walk across the room to Jack. She was briefly waylaid by her parents and then the O'Neills.

"Excuse me, there's something I have to do."

Sam cut Mr. O'Neill off in the middle of his sentence.

_I have to get to Jack. He looks like he's going to bolt. Come on baby; just hang in there a little bit longer. Then all these people will go home and you can pass out until tomorrow._

As she approached Jack, Sam examined him more closely than she'd allowed herself to for most of the evening. Every muscle in his body was tense and he was scanning the small room as if expecting to be attacked. He held a half full rocks glass.

_Probably Scotch, and I haven't seen him eat anything since lunch, this can't be good._

Sam lifted the glass from Jack's hand and took a small sip. Shuddering at the bite of the alcohol she set the glass aside and twined her fingers with Jack's. Sam gave a slight tug and headed for the back door. Jack trailed docilely behind her. Their route took them past the pantry where Sam snagged a box of Fruit Loops before they gained the deck. Sam pushed Jack into one of the chairs.

"Eat"

She handed Jack the cereal. Jack glared up at her for a moment then shoved his hand into the box, withdrew a handful, and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Good. Now, talk."

Jack rolled his eyes and pointed at his mouth.

"Fine. Chew. Swallow. Then talk."

Jack made a large production of chewing and swallowing, but he didn't talk. Sam crouched down in front of him and took both his hands in hers after placing the cereal box aside.

"Jack, please talk to me. Let me help you with this."

Jack merely shook his head.

"Damn it Jack! Don't do this. I know I can't fix it, nobody can. But I can help you bear it. Please?"

"No."

Sam hadn't actually expected Jack to speak and she jerked in surprise at the harsh tone of his voice.

"No…This is not your fault. You did not kill my son. I will not let this bring you down too. The guards were right I am no longer fit for this world. I am no better than a play toy, no more deserving than a rabid dog. I tried to hold onto Charlie and it killed him. I will not do the same with you. I just wish that idiot driver had put me out of my misery as well."

"Jack, don't say that. It's not true. You do deserve to live, to be happy."

"I killed my son! I deserve nothing!"

Jack sprang from his chair and stalked to the other end of the deck. The reflection of his movement in the sliding glass door caught Sam's eye and she looked more closely. Their families and friends were peering curiously out at them. Unfortunately Jack had turned to look at Sam and he caught them staring.

"I can't be here. I can't do this!"

Jack fled down the deck's stairs and around the side of the house. Stunned it took Sam a moment to follow. By the time she reached the driveway Jack was already into their rental car and pulling away. Frantically Sam chased him down the drive and out into the street but he didn't slow. Finally she collapsed on the curb as Jack's car pulled out of sight. There, on the side of the road, just down the street from where they'd grown up together, Sam buried her head in her hands and cried. Jack hadn't shown up for the funeral the next day, and when she'd gone to check in for their flight back to California the ticketing agent informed her that Jack's ticket had been exchanged for an earlier flight. By the time she'd gotten to Jack's place he had gone, taking only his most valued possessions and leaving no note.

**oOo**

The shrill ringing of the phone, right next to her head woke Sam. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

_Wha…I must have fallen asleep. Damn phone! I should probably answer. What if it's Jack? He wouldn't be so stupid. Would he? Better not to know. Maybe they'll just hang up when the machine comes on._

Sam flopped down so she was lying on the couch, her head now away from the phone. She settled down to go back to sleep as the answering machine picked up. A woman's voice came through the speaker.

"Sam, pick up the phone. I know you're there and I know why. Daniel just brought him over for dinner. Honey, please…"

_Hmm I should probably answer, if only to convince Janet that I'm okay._

Sam leaned back across the couch and picked up the phone.

"Hi Jan."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I had a bit of a headache earlier so I came home early and took a nap."

"That headache wouldn't happen to be a certain former fiancée would it?"

"Janet…"

"Just answer me this…should I feed him or should I tell him and Daniel to go somewhere else? My husband's an idiot. What was he thinking?"

"Do whatever you want. I don't care."

"Sam that's bull and we both know it. I'm coming over there. You need to talk to someone about this."

"There's no need…"

"Of course there is. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Sam sighed as Janet hung up the phone and resigned herself to her friend's well meaning intervention.

_Good thing I cleaned up a little this weekend._

* * *

Jack

He'd known that the first thing Janet would do after Daniel had dragged him in the door was call Sam. He'd told Daniel as much when he'd talked to him over the phone. Jack had tried to convince his friend to join him for a few beers at a local bar, but Daniel had insisted that Jack come see the house. Jack was in the middle of convincing Daniel that this had been a very bad idea when Janet returned from her kitchen.

"I'm going over to Sam's. I may not come home tonight and if I do you had better be sleeping on the couch Daniel."

"Jan, I tried to…"

"I heard you earlier Jack. That still doesn't excuse him. Now, since you were his friend before you were mine and before he met Sam I am not going to kick him out of this house. But I am not happy. Is that clear Daniel?"

"Yes Jan."

_Well that went well. _

Jack watched as Janet picked up her purse and slammed the front door behind her. Both men winced as the sound echoed through the house and Daniel slumped onto the couch.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I really didn't think she'd be this upset. I thought…"

"You thought she'd react like you did."

"Yeah. I'm just happy to see you still alive. You can explain the rest of it to me later."

"Thanks Daniel, and I really do appreciate it, but I'm not sure I should stick around. I don't want to mess up everyone's lives again."

"Jack you didn't…"

"Yes I did, and I'm just starting to realize how badly. Sam won't even listen, let alone talk, to me. She told me she didn't know me. I can't do this to her again. I'm sorry Daniel. I promise I'll try to keep in touch this time but I'm going to go."

Jack shrugged back into his leather jacket and headed for the door. Daniel's hand was on his shoulder before he got two steps.

_Damn. His reflexes have gotten better._

"Jack…"

Jack turned to look at his friend.

"You might as well stay for now. Jan's left for the evening. Come on I've got some beers in the fridge. I'll call for pizza and we can watch whatever game is on tonight."

Jack allowed Daniel to pull him back through the house to the family room. Daniel plucked the remote from the coffee table and stuck it in Jack's hand.

"Find something to watch. I'll be right back."

_If only everything was so simple. Guess I might as well enjoy this while it lasts._

Jack settled back into the couch, turned on the tv, and flipped channels until he found a hockey game.

* * *

Sam

"I'm coming…I'm coming."

Sam yelled at whoever was ringing her doorbell incessantly.

_Sheesh! What's so damn important? Somebody's seriously impatient._

"What!"

She yanked open the door. Her mouth hung open in surprise. Outside stood not only Janet but Rosa and Cassie as well.

"Janet…I told you I was fine. This intervention is unnecessary."

"You are so full of shit."

Cassie pushed her way past Sam. Janet and Rosa followed. As they marched past her, Sam noticed that each woman was holding a shopping bag. Sam shut the door, rested her head against it briefly, and followed the women into her kitchen just in time to hear the contents of Cassie's bag clink as she set it on the counter.

"So, we've got chick flicks, wine, Chinese take-out, and ice cream therapy," Cassie said as she pulled out four bottles of wine and a Blockbuster bag. "Would some one please tell me why we're having this emergency girls' night in?"

"Janet didn't tell you?"

"Nope, I was already on my way up, I was going to stay overnight at her place then surprise you tomorrow. She told me to meet her here and pick up some wine on the way. So what's up?"

"It was Janet's idea."

"Fine Sam, if you can't say it…Jack's back."

"Jack? Sam's ex-fiancée, disappeared without a word, Jack?"

"Wait, the Jack O'Neill that's now in charge of the SGC's telescope is your Jack O'Neill?"

Rosa's question came right on top of Cassie's amazed reaction.

"Got it in one."

"Well that explains a lot. Guess it also means he's off limits eh?"

Three women turned to glare at Rosa, but Sam quickly looked away.

"Easy ladies, I was just kidding. He's gorgeous, and I'd totally shag him, but he was only interested in one person during the meeting today."

"Can we Not talk about this?" Sam asked petulantly.

"Fine, but this discussion is not over."

Janet took charge, pulling cartons out of the take-out bag. Rosa collected plates and utensils, while Cassie began opening the wine.

"Go put one of these in."

Cassie handed Sam the bag of movies and pushed her towards the tv.

_I hate being ambushed. Crap! They're going to make me talk about this. Fine! I might as well get nice and sloshed first._

Sam snagged one of the bottles of wine off the counter and headed out of her kitchen, leaving her best friends to get things together.

"Did she just…."

"Yep. That's why I bought four. Jan made it sound like this was going to be a long night."

Sam smiled faintly to herself at Rosa's surprise and Cassie's rejoinder.

_Guess Rosa's in for a crash course in 'Dealing with Depressed Sam'. She's got good teachers at least. Janet and Cassie have had plenty of practice, even if it has been a while._

**oOo**

A few hours, a good dinner, two movies, a bottle of wine, and most of a pint of Phish Food later Sam was much happier. Of course it was a chemical induced euphoria that could come crashing down at any moment.

_This is much better. Oh look at the cute little fishy. Buh-bye fishy!_

Sam lifted a chocolate fish from her spoon and bit its head off, giggling at her own antics.

"I think that's enough for you now."

Janet moved the last bottle of wine away from Sam and then reached for the ice cream.

"No! Mine!"

Sam pulled the carton close into her chest and turned her shoulders to shield it from Janet, who sighed and sat back down.

"So…I'm not as up on the Jack situation as you guys are," Rosa nodded to Janet and Cassie. "Care to fill me in?"

Janet began explaining.

"Well, he's a few years older than us and he grew up across the street from Sam. He went to college with Sam's brother and Daniel which is how I met him. I met Sam right about the time they started dating."

"He's an ass and he broke my heart," chimed in Sam.

"Even now you don't really mean that do you?" asked Cassie.

"He broke my heart!"

"I meant the asshole bit. I knew both of them way back when they were still insisting to everyone that they were 'just friends'. Then they finally started dating and for years all I heard was Jack this, Jack that. She was so head over heels for him that she didn't even freak when he dropped his son, by another woman, on her doorstep and disappeared for months."

"Damn it Cassie you make it sound like he wanted to spend time being tortured in an Iraqi prison! Besides he'd only just found out about Charlie."

"I was the doctor who got assigned to him when he finally got home. I wasn't surprised to see how in love Sam still was. I was sort of surprised to see how much she loved Charlie though."

"He was Jack's," Sam said as if that explained everything.

"But Sarah…ugh," Janet shuddered. "Anyways long story short Charlie died, Jack flipped out, and walked out in the middle of the wake. Cassie, Catherine, and I spent months consoling Sam and trying to keep her from working herself into the ground. The reason she got her PhD so fast is that she spent the first couple of months after Jack's disappearance working around the clock unless one of us was there to stop her. Anyways, until this afternoon none of us were even sure he was alive anymore."

"And he just showed up at the meeting this afternoon without warning you? No wonder you looked so shocked when you walked in. I'm sorry I made the crack about Joe."

"Oh God, Joe! I forgot about him. I'm the worst girlfriend ever!"

_Shit! I…_

"I'm sure he'll understand."

"Understand! Yeah right! It'd go over sooo well, 'Joe, meet Jack. Yes that Jack. I'm still in love with him but I can't tell him that cause I'm afraid he'll walk out on me again.' Oh shit!"

Sam burst into tears. Janet and Cassie leaned in to hug her from either side while Rosa moved to sit on the coffee table in front of Sam, a hand on her knee.

"I still…"

Sam couldn't finish the sentence, but she reached up and pulled her necklace out from under her shirt once again. Janet and Cassie gasped as they recognized Sam's rings.

"Oh, honey…"

"It'll be okay, we'll figure something out."

"He'll never even know what hit him."

**

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the appearance of the exposition fairy there at the end, but it was the best way I could come up with to get a rise out of Sam without making her talk. Consider it a recap of the story so far. ;-) Let me know what you're thinking.**


	10. Opening a Window

**The Collective Years  
10: Opening a Window  
PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer**: Nope, got nothing.

**A/N**: Hey guys, thanks for sticking with me through all this. I know the chapters are getting long hopefully you all still think they're worth it. I was going to split this one in half and get it out sooner, but that would have broken the one rule I set for myself with this fic. So here it is long after the fact...

* * *

Jack

_The holidays are such a hassle. Incessant caroling… over done decorations… party, after gathering, after get together…and all that shopping._

Jack groused to himself as he maneuvered his car through the holiday traffic on his way to the SGC's New Year's Eve party.

_At least this party should be fun. After all Samantha's hosting, which means that there will be at least two people I can actually enjoy spending time with. Ah, finally…_

The traffic opened up in front of him and Jack squeezed through to his exit and headed towards Sam's house. Automatically, he checked the seat next to him to make sure the cake he'd almost forgotten to get had survivedthe ride so far.

_Of course it still there, where would it have gone? It's not like anybody could have beamed it out of the car. It'll be fine Jack, just relax. Just because this is the first time you've been to Sam's place since coming to Colorado doesn't mean it's anything to be nervous about. It's not like anything is going to happen. You've barely gotten her to the point where she's willing to have a work related conversation with you when no one else is around. Just keep it easy. Slow and steady._

Jack parked his car at the end of a long line of cars stretching down Sam's block. He grabbed the box out of the front seat and followed the shoveled path towards Sam's door. Jack nervously shifted the box in his arms and rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door was opened to reveal a large dark-skinned man. Jack's jaw dropped.

"T?"

"It is good to see you alive and well O'Neill."

Teal'c opened the door more fully allowing warmth, light, and laughter to pour out into the cold night. Jack stepped inside and shuffled out of his coat as Teal'c closed the door behind him.

"Wow! It's good to see you too buddy. How did you…"

"Hey Teal'c is that Jack yet?"

Mark Carter walked into the foyer closely followed by Catherine.

"Indeed."

Catherine rescued the cake from certain death by pulling it from Jack's numb hands as Mark hugged his stunned friend hard.

"Oh, good, Jack's here. Surprise!"

Daniel, Janet, and Sam crowded into the small foyer. Catherine handed the cake off to Sam.

"I managed to save this before Mark got a hold of him."

"I'll just go put this with the rest of the food."

Catherine and Janet smiled indulgently at the guys before following Sam towards her kitchen. Mark released Jack and the four former best friends stood looking at each other in silence, Jack's smile growing with each passing second.

"So who, how…?"

"Well, Sa…"

"I thought it would be a nice surprise for you to get the old group back together again. I told you there was another part to your present."

Daniel cut across Mark's answer. Jack looked between them quickly, but he missed any messages that they might have passed.

_I wonder what Carter was going to say. It almost sounded like he was going to say that this was Samantha's idea. I'll find out later. First things first…_

"I don't know about you guys, but I could use a beer. How about you guys catch me up on what I've missed? How's married life treating you these days, Carter?"

The guys followed Teal'c as he threaded his way through the rest of Sam's guests.

* * *

Sam

"That went well. Did you see the shock on Jack's face? I bet it was even better when Teal'c opened the door. I don't think he'd moved since he walked in the door. Thank you for inviting us Sam. Mark's been trying to come up with a reason to get out here ever since you told him Jack had reappeared."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry I made you do so much traveling during the holiday season."

"Don't worry about it. The kids are enjoying the time with their grandparents. I believe they were actually going to go into New York to watch the ball drop."

"That's awesome. Mark and I never could convince them to take us."

"From what I've heard, you wouldn't have wanted to miss the time with Jack anyways," teased Janet.

Sam blew her friend a raspberry.

"So what is the deal with you guys these days?"

"No deal. I'm treating him like I would any other new faculty member."

"You're so full of shit Sam. If he was actually new you'd have slept with him within the first month."

Rosa walked into the kitchen and helped herself to a soda from the fridge.

"You know there are sodas out there."

Sam gestured towards her dinning room where the table was full of food and drinks.

"Yeah, but this one's cold and I wanted in on the gossip fest. You, Janet, and Cath all together in one room can only mean trouble. So what's the plan?"

"There is no plan. Remember. I'm not doing anything until I'm sure he's staying."

"And if you don't give him a reason to stay he's going to leave."

"Janet can we not have this argument tonight? I'm going to go pretend I care about my other guests."

Sam stalked out of the kitchen to mingle with the rest of her guests, a mixture of SGC members, other faculty, and spouses. A while later, when she looked back across the party, her friends were still huddled together in the kitchen.

_Great! Well I better be on guard. They're definitely going to try to force something. Where are the guys? Ah Ha!_

The door to her private study, which was supposed to be off limits during the party, was ajar.

_I know that was closed earlier._

Sam shuffled her way through her living room and foyer. As she got closer to her study she could hear the guys' voices.

"So which team are you backing in the Rose Bowl?" asked Mark.

_Do guys ever not talk about sports?_

Sam pushed the door open slightly. Daniel was sitting, leaning back, in her chair with his feet propped on her desk. Mark and Jack perched on the desk, while Teal'c was holding up a wall.

"Well I think …"

The door squeaked as she opened it a little wider, distracting Jack. He shifted to look across the room at the door and their eyes met. A familiar light flared in Jack's eyes but it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, leaving Sam feeling oddly empty.

_God, he looks so natural, here in my house, with our friends. This is how it should have been, could have been. I…_

"Oh, hey Sis."

Mark had followed Jack's gaze and so had Daniel, spinning the chair around to see what had captured Jack's attention. With the moment between them broken, Sam locked her emotions away for future consideration.

"Hi guys. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right, since you've been gone for over an hour."

"Oops. I better to go check in with Janet. I didn't realize it'd been so long."

Daniel scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping over the chair in the process. Sam stepped fully into the study to allow him out. Mark followed shortly behind Daniel.

"Some things never change."

Jack shook his head in amusement at Daniel's antics.

"Indeed O'Neill. I believe I am in need of refreshment. Excuse me."

_No, don't leave me here alone with him. Not tonight, not on New Year's Eve of all days. I can't…_

Teal'c pushed away from the wall and nodded to Sam as he passed. Sam started to turn and follow him out, working furiously to keep her emotions in check and a bright party smile on her face.

"Sam…"

She turned back at Jack's questioning tone, knowing full well that it would be her undoing.

* * *

Jack

Jack slid off the desk and approached Sam who gazed at him rather apprehensively.

_Please just let me…good. She's not moving away at least._

He stopped just shy of invading her personal space. She'd stiffened slightly as he'd drawn nearer, but stood her ground.

"I just…Thank you Samantha."

"You're welcome?"

_Does she really not know?_

"For this, the guys…"

"Daniel thought…"

Jack cut across Sam's denial.

"Samantha…Daniel might have approved of the idea, but not until after you suggested it."

"Well, I…"

"Thank you, for giving them back to me and not calling me an idiot for giving them up in the first place, at least not to my face."

Jack leaned forward and resting his hand on Sam's shoulder, placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

_Don't push your luck. Don't push your luck._

Jack trailed his hand from Sam's shoulder down her arm and he backed away. This time it was Sam's turn to stop him as he left the room.

"Jack…"

_Did she just…It sounds better than I remember. She hasn't used my name since I've been back._

"Yes?"

"Happy Holidays."

Jack looked back over his shoulder. Thoughts, words, phrases clogged his mind and threatened to spill from his mouth and break their fragile truce.

_I love you. I need you. I can't do this without you anymore. Please forgive me. Please give me another chance. I'm an idiot, but how can you keep doing this? Don't you feel anything anymore?_

Something in her eyes gave him the courage to speak.

"Samantha is there any chance that you might…that we could…"

"Hey Sam, where'd you put the extra beers? It's only 10:30 and all the ones you had out are gone."

Davis Duncan interrupted Jack as he came down the short hall which separated the study from the entryway.

_Well crap. There goes my only chance at getting her alone tonight._

"I think a couple of the contributions got put in the garage. Jack, could you help me check?"

_Or maybe not. Maybe she wants to fix this as much as I do? Keep your fingers crossed O'Neill._

"Uh, sure."

Jack moved into the foyer then turned in the direction of Sam's garage. He walked through the gathering towards what he thought would be the correct door, Sam following behind him.

_Well I can't be too far wrong. She'd tell me otherwise._

Jack opened the door, braced himself against the frigid air, and motioned for Sam to precede him down the short flight of stairs into the cold garage. A quick glance at the base of the stairs revealed several six-packs sitting next to a case of champagne.

_Corona, Yuengling, Guinness…decent selection. She looks nervous._

Sam had stopped just beyond the stairs and was looking determinedly at the floor. Jack descended the stairs and waited. He waited until he was almost shivering from the cold of the garage and still Sam stared at the floor, shivers her only movement. Jack sighed and bent to pick up the beer, but a small sound from Sam caused him to look up at her. Confusion was written plainly on her face and Jack thought he could detect touches of fear and longing as well.

_She looks so cold and lonely._

Invading her personal space, Jack drew Sam into his arms, rubbing his hands briskly over her back to warm her. When he felt her shudder he tucked her head against his shoulder, under his chin, and held on tight.

"Jack, I…"

Sam's words came in a soft whisper that trailed off uncertainly.

"Hush. It's okay baby. It'll be all right. Whatever you want we'll work it out. I'll do whatever it takes," Jack murmured soothing into Sam's hair.

After too short a time, Sam began to stir and Jack tensed as she lifted her head from his shoulder. Sam pulled away enough so that she could tilt her head up to consider him. Desire, hope, and the love he had thought he'd lost were clear in her eyes creating a moment of intimacy such that Jack could not stop himself. He leaned forward and touched his lips tentatively to hers. She responded hesitantly at first, but soon Jack felt the line between past and present blur and the kiss deepened and intensified. Her lips had just parted to allow him entrance to her mouth when the garage door burst open.

"Sam! Jack! Come quick!" Daniel shouted.

It took a moment for the panic in Daniel's voice to register, but the instant it had Sam tore herself from Jack and he pushed her up the stairs as both of them rushed into the house.

* * *

Sam

"Daniel? What's going on?"

Sam yelled at the back of her retreating friend. Daniel didn't even turn to look at her as he hurried up into the kitchen. Sam took the three stairs into the kitchen in two steps and stopped short. Mark was collapsed on the floor leaning back against Sam's island with Catherine kneeling beside him. Tears were streaming down both their faces. Janet was on the phone and Teal'c stood guard. Jack pulled up just short of slamming into Sam's back as Daniel moved to support Janet. Teal'c was the first to speak.

"Janet Fraisier is speaking with your father. It seems there has been an automobile accident."

Sam moved quickly to join Mark and Catherine on the floor.

"The kids?"

"They're all right. Sam, it's your mom."

_Oh God! Mom?_

Sam rocked back in shock. She might have fallen over but Jack was there to catch her. Janet hung up the phone and turned to the group. Jack's arms tightened about Sam as Janet began to speak. Slipping into doctor mode, Janet delivered the bad news.

"Here's the deal. Your family was involved in a car accident. Dad sustained minor injuries as did the children though Jackie's were a little more severe. The other car struck the front passenger side. Your mother took the brunt of the impact. She's currently in surgery, but they're not sure that she'll make it."

_What are we going to do? How do we get there? We're never going to make it in time._

"Do you know what hospital they were taken to?" asked Jack.

"I wrote it down."

Janet handed Jack a slip of paper. He shifted Sam and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small cell phone. He hit number one on his speed dial and waited.

"Mom…Happy New Year to you too…Mom, Mom! There's a problem. The Carters got hit by a drunk driver. They were taken to St. Claire's Hospital in Denville. Could you…Thanks Mom."

Jack hung up, snapping his phone shut. He rose and drew Sam to her feet. Jack kept one arm around Sam as he reached a hand down to help Catherine up. Teal'c came forward to assist Mark.

"Go pack. I'll take care of everything."

Jack gestured towards the rest of the house. Catherine led the shell shocked Carters upstairs. Janet followed closely behind.

* * *

Jack

Jack was flipping his phone back open even as they left the room.

"Jack?"

"I'm calling the base Daniel. I think there was a transport heading back to McGuire tomorrow morning. I might be able to convince them to leave early. Can you and Teal'c take care of these people?"

"Peterson Air Force Base, Airman Smith speaking."

"This is Colonel Jonathan O'Neill. I need information on the next transport to McGuire AFB."

"Just a minute Sir."

Daniel and Teal'c were ushering the other guest out of Sam's house.

"Sir? There are no transports leaving for McGuire until next week."

"There's nothing sooner?"

"Not to McGuire Sir. I do have a cargo transport leaving for Dover AFB in Delaware in an hour."

_On New Year's, that sucks! Bet the pilot would be glad for some company._

"Does he have room for four passengers?"

"It looks like that should be possible Sir. Shall I write you in?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything else I can do for you Sir? Will you be needing a car when you get to Dover?"

_Doh!_

"Yes please Airman, and thank you for reminding me."

"I'll make sure there's something available for you Sir. I hope everything works out for you Sir."

"Thank you Airman. Happy New Year."

Jack disconnected and looked around the now silent house. Daniel and Teal'c were cleaning up and the Carters will still upstairs. Jack headed up the stairs to fill them in on the plan.

_So not how I wanted to see Sam's bedroom. Not that I even know which room it is._

"Samantha?"

"In here Jack," called Janet from the room to his right.

Jack headed towards her. He could hear Mark and Catherine come out of the room behind him and follow him into Sam's room.

"I've got us on a flight out in just under an hour. Are you ready to go?"

"Us? Jack you don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I'm not going to leave you alone on this Samantha. Now, is there anything else you need me to help with?"

"I, uh…"

"Go ahead Sam. Daniel and I'll make sure everything's all right here and lock up before we leave."

Janet grabbed Sam's bag and began to hustle the group out of the room.

* * *

Sam

They'd gotten to the base just as the pilot was performing his final pre-flight check. The large clunky plane looked like some military cargo plane stereotype out of a movie. Jack had walked them into the large cargo hold, directed them around the helicopter therein, and pointed out the large uncomfortable benches which would serve as their seats during the flight and then gone to speak to the pilot. When Jack had returned, stowed two bundles under some webbing, closed the bay doors behind him and then made sure everyone was strapped in for takeoff. A few minutes after Sam had sensed the plane leveling off Jack had unhooked himself and gone off to talk to the pilot. He'd returned, retrieved the bundles which had turned out to be self-inflating air mattresses, and set them up on the floor of the plane. Mark and Catherine were curled up asleep on one. Sam was lying awake on the other, staring at the side of the plane while Jack sat perched on one of the benches.

_What are we going to without Mom? Dad's going to be a wreck. At least the kids are all right. I don't think Mark and Catherine would have survived if the kids hadn't. I'm not sure Jack would even have been able to help. Jack…_

Sam sighed and shifted so she could see Jack. The noise caught his attention and Jack looked down to the mattress near his feet.

"You should sleep. You're going to need all your strength for later."

"I can't. I can't stop thinking about…"

Jack slid off the bench to sit beside Sam on the mattress. He rested a hand on her shoulder.

"I know, but there's nothing you can do from here and it'll be a lot easier to handle the rest if you've had some sleep."

Sam twisted away from Jack, uncomfortable with his all too knowing gaze and touch. She could feel his hesitancy to leave her in the way he moved from the mattress.

_Don't let this go!_

Obeying the internal command Sam rolled back to grab Jack's arm as he rose. She could sense him looking at her but she couldn't force herself to look beyond his hand as she gave a slight tug to bring him back down beside her.

"Jack…why are you here?"

"To make sure you get to your family safely and as quickly as possible."

"Why? You walked out five years ago and we've barely spoken since you returned. I haven't exactly…"

"I made a mistake. I hated the person I was becoming after Charlie…I didn't deserve you and I didn't want drag you down with me. It took me a few years to realize that even though I will never deserve you, I'm much closer to being deserving when I'm with you then when I'm on my own. Then I had to convince the Air Force that this was where I should be. As for right this moment, Catherine has her hands full worrying about Mark and her kids. Somebody needed to be worried about you."

"Jack…"

"Please don't make the same mistake I did Samantha. Let me help."

Sam finally looked up from where their hands had been resting, fingers interlaced, on Jack's lap. Jack's soulful brown eyes reflected an all too familiar combination of hope, love, pleading, and terror.

_How can I resist a plea like that? Don't kid yourself Samantha, you were about to give in before any of this happened. Now you know he's serious, don't keep him hanging!_

"I was just going to ask you to join me. I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep on my own. You should get some rest too."

Surprise showed in Jack's eyes. His free hand reached out to caress Sam's cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that had begun to trickle down her face.

_I love you._

Without breaking eye contact Jack raised their joined hands to his lips.

"Are you sure?"

Jack's words were giving Sam a chance to change her mind, but the press of his palm against her cheek, the strength of his grip on her hand, and the possessiveness of his gaze told another story.

_Be careful. If you agree to this you give yourself over to him and open yourself up to being hurt again. Don't kid yourself Samantha…this is exactly what you've always wanted from Jack. Trust him. You'll only hate yourself later if you don't. _

"Yes."

* * *

Jack

_Did she just…? Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Don't screw it up now O'Neill._

Jack removed his hand from Sam's face and shuffled around until he was lying on his back alongside her, their joined hands resting on the mattress between them. His breath backed up in his throat when Sam released his hand, rolled over and pillowed her head on his chest. Her right arm stretched across his torso and her right leg rested between his.

_I am the luckiest man alive. I can't loose her again. I don't care if she's overly emotional right now and I'm taking advantage. I'm not giving her up again._

Jack's arms moved to encircle Sam and he held her tight, one hand across her shoulders, the other resting on her hip, as they both drifted off into sleep.

Their positions hadn't changed when the pilot came to check on them four hours later.

**

* * *

A/N2: So…I'm just going to leave the chapter here cause I don't feel like depressing myself or you guys any more than I have already by doing sad hospital scenes and a funeral. I think I've got another 2 maybe 3 more chapters in me, but I have to admit I'm getting tired of this fic, especially given the lack of feed back. Now, I'm not threatening to leave this unfinished, I hate unfinished business, but I am saying that encouragement will get chapters out faster and maybe increase the final number.**


	11. Hearts

**The Collective Years  
****11: Hearts  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** I've run out of ways to say this…They are NOT mine. I get nothing from this except for reviews and a sense of self-fulfillment.

**A/N**: Sorry about the delay. I hoped to work on this last weekend, but a CSI plot bunny bit me in the ass and wouldn't let go. I'm still having trouble sitting down and focusing on SG1, of course that could be the Halloween candy's fault.

* * *

Jack

The past six weeks had been among the worst of Jack's life. There had only been two times when he'd felt more helpless and he tried as hard as possible not to ever think of them but somehow this, watching Sam's pain and being unable to stop it, had been worse. It still surprised him that Jacob Carter had found the time and concentration to confront him after the funeral.

**oOo**

"Jack! It's good to see you again son."

Jack had been able to avoid being alone with Jacob during the days leading up to the funeral. Now, at the reception after, he'd relaxed his vigilance and been cornered.

"Same here Mr. Carter. I just wish it wasn't under these conditions."

"Me too. Emily would have been so happy to see you again. You're not going to screw this up again are you Jack?"

"I don't plan to Sir."

"That's good. Make sure Sam knows. This'll be hard enough for her without her having to worry about you too. I'm glad she has someone to look out for her. She deserves to be happy. Emily would have wanted her to be happy."

Jacob's eyes had misted over and he turned away from Jack, leaving him alone as quickly as he'd appeared.

**oOo**

Now it was almost Valentine's Day and he was supposed to be spending the evening with Sam, whom he hadn't seen in five weeks. He hadn't been able to take the time off, but because of the University's class schedule Sam had been able to spend the past four weeks helping her father adjust. They had spoken on the phone every day, but it wasn't the same as seeing her.

_Almost time to head out. I hope this goes all right. God, I haven't been on a date in…forever. I just want this to be perfect. She's been through so much recently and I, Hell, I'm almost as likely to break down as she is. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._

Jack stared into the bathroom mirror and adjusted his tie one final time. On his way through his bedroom he shrugged into his suit jacket and grabbed an envelope and a small box, which he tucked into his breast pocket. The trench coat he pulled from the hall closet finished off the outfit and Jack headed out to his car, after checking his pockets for his keys, wallet, and cell phone.

* * *

Sam

"Jan-net," Sam whined, "What am I supposed to wear? He won't tell me anything about where we're going!"

Janet sighed in resignation. Sam had been standing, staring at her closet for the past 20 minutes rejecting every outfit it contained.

"He's going to be here soon and I have nothing to wear."

"Sam, you've got over an hour until Jack's supposed to pick you up and you know he's always late."

"But…"

"No buts. How about you go get in the shower. I'll make some phone calls and by the time you get out I promise I'll have something for you to wear."

"Jan…do you know something you're not telling me?"

Janet's tolerant smile blossomed into a smirk.

"You do! I knew it! You know exactly what Jack has planned and you haven't told me…some friend you are!"

"He wants it to be a surprise and I agree. Relax Sam; you're going to have a great evening. I wouldn't have agreed to help out unless I approved. Now, shoo! You're making it hard for me to do my job."

This time the resigned sigh issued from Sam's lips as she hung the dress she'd been holding back up in the closet and grabbed her robe and towel.

"Fine, you win."

Sam headed into her bathroom. A few moments later the water started up and the door cracked open and a pile of clothes dropped onto the chair beside it.

**oOo**

It was more than 30 minutes later that Sam emerged from the bath, wrapped in her robe, pulling the towel off of her hair. The hot, soothing waters of the shower along with the rituals of shaving and moisturizing had relaxed her. She looked around for Janet. There was no one else in the bedroom, but laid out on the bed was the perfect dress. Sheer black lace lay over a dark maroon satin sheath which fell, sleeveless, in an A-line cut from a deep v neckline and wide shoulder straps. Sam caressed the dress; the lace was soft and fluid while the smooth satin shimmered in the light.

_This is perfect. How did Janet know?_

Ditching her robe, Sam donned a matching set of deep blue satin underwear and bra before unzipping the dress and sliding it over her head. The back of the dress also dropped away in a v deep enough to allow Sam to do up the zipper by herself, but not, Sam twisted to check in the mirror, low enough to flash her bra.

_Amazing._

Sam opened her door and peered out into the hallway.

"Janet?"

"Just a minute," came the faint response from the first floor.

Sam headed back into her bathroom. Janet appeared in the door just as Sam finished a light coat of foundation.

"Damn! I wish I'd looked that good in that dress when I tried it on."

"You tried this dress on?"

"You're not the only one with a hot date tonight."

"Daniel remembered a holiday?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"He had a little help and some not so gentle reminders."

"And all is right with the world again."

Sam winked at Janet, who laughed and started riffling through Sam's makeup drawer. Sam watched and a after a brief moment of indecisiveness, Janet placed two compacts on the counter.

"Use these; you'll look like you're glowing."

The colors were a range of pinks and golds with just texture to keep them from fading when applied. Silently agreeing with her friend's decision Sam pulled a few more things out of her drawer and set about finishing the rest of her routine.

"So what are you going to do for jewelry?"

"The usual I guess, I don't have anything that's really made to go with this dress."

"Are you sure that'll work?"

"It'll be fine. Hold on a minute and I'll show you."

Janet wandered out of the bathroom and over to Sam's dresser. She started toying with Sam's jewelry box.

"Jan, you're being more fidgety than Jack. Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Fine, fine, why wouldn't it be?" Janet picked up a long gold chain. "Are you sure you don't want to wear these?"

Sam looked at the two rings hanging from the necklace.

"Of course I'm going to wear them. That's what I meant."

"I thought maybe…you'd…"

"Maybe I'd what?"

"Put them back on…the way they're supposed to be worn. They are rings after all."

Sam's eyes snapped to Janet's. But Janet wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Jan…I…I'm not sure either of us is ready yet."

This time Janet looked up and Sam looked away.

"You know you want what these rings symbolize. What better day to show him?"

"Well….maybe one…"

Janet unhooked the clasp on the necklace and slid the Clladagh ring free.

"This one?"

Sam nodded her head and accepted the ring, placing it onto her left ring finger, heart facing in. She turned her back to Janet and the other woman reached around her to put the necklace on. The clasp was redone and Sam smoothed the necklace into place. Her old engagement ring hung just low enough to be hidden by the fabric of the dress. Sam turned back around to Janet. She ran her finger through her hair and then nervously down the dress.

"You look perfect."

"Good."

"Show time?"

Sam checked the slim gold watch she was putting on.

"He's not supposed to be here for another fifteen minutes."

"Do you have your shoes picked out?"

Sam went to her closet and lifted out a pair of wedge heeled, black sandals.

"Do these meet with your approval?"

"Yep. Aren't you going to put them on?" asked Janet as Sam slipped past her and out of the room and headed down the stairs, shoes in hand.

"Not until it's time to go. They're not exactly the most comfortable shoes I own."

"Um…Sam…"

Sam turned around on the bottom step.

"What?"

"I think she's trying to warn you that there's someone else in the house."

Sam started at the deep voice coming from just behind her. She turned sharply and misplaced her foot on the step. Dropping the shoes she'd held, Sam landed solidly against Jack's chest. His arms wrapped around her in a quick hug before his hands slid to her waist and he lowered her down to the floor at the bottom of the stairwell. The hands that had been squished between them slid up over Jack's shoulders and looped themselves around his neck.

"Hi," Sam whispered as she tugged his head down to hers.

"Ehm," Janet cleared her throat. "I believe that's my cue to leave. You kids have a good time now."

Janet smiled broadly and hurried down the stairs, squeezing Sam's shoulder as she stepped around the couple.

"Thanks Jan."

"You're welcome. Remember you deserve to be happy, both of you. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Sam turned in Jack's arms so that she could watch Janet gather her purse and coat before heading out. Janet cast one last glance over her shoulder at Jack and Sam before she let herself out the front door. Sam started to step away, but strong arms wrapped across her stomach, holding her tight against Jack.

_This feels so right. I hope we don't mess this up again. I can't loose him again so soon, especially not with…don't think about that tonight Samantha! Maybe I shouldn't tell him about…no, you need to be honest with him. He needs to know…but I don't have to do it right now. Right now I'm just going to enjoy having his arms around me again._

Sam relaxed back in Jack's embrace resting her head against his shoulder. He bent his head down and placed a soft kiss against her neck.

"You look amazing tonight. Would you be too upset if I told you we were staying in?"

Sam lifted her left hand to rest against Jack's cheek, holding him in place as she tilted her lips to rest against his.

"Devastated," she breathed before kissing him.

Jack's lips parted and his mouth opened for her searching tongue. His hands tightened reflexively on her hips and he pressed against her roughly before pulling sharply away from her. Sam's hands dropped to her sides and she smoothed her palms nervously over her dress again.

* * *

Jack

He put some distance between them to allow his befuddled mind to sort out the past few minutes and refocus on his objective.

_Why was her hand cold against my face? She doesn't usually have cold hands unless she's been outside…_

Jack placed his hands on Sam's shoulders and turned her to face him. He smoothed his palms down her bare arms and lifted her hands to his mouth, laying on a light kiss on the back of each. He started when he felt the press of cool metal against his lips and then he looked closely at her hands for the first time that evening.

_Holy Hannah! She's wearing a promise ring. It looks just like the one I gave her years ago. She wasn't wearing it on New Years or at the funeral…_

"Samantha?"

"Yes Jack?"

Sam smiled widely at Jack. He ran his thumb over the ring that had returned to her finger.

"You're wearing my ring."

_She kept my ring! Did she keep the other one?_

"Very observant of you Jack."

_And now she's teasing me…_

His face must have betrayed some of his annoyance because Sam burst out laughing.

"Samantha…"

"Jack?"

"Sam"

"It was time. Happy Valentine's Day Jack."

Sam stood up on her toes and kissed Jack's cheek lightly.

"Now didn't you have something special planned?"

_Right…right…_

"Well I hadn't planned to start with this, but given the circumstance…"

Jack released Sam's hands and moved to cup her face before leaning down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. After a little while he pulled back and resumed their conversation.

"I thought about taking you out for a big fancy dinner at the best restaurant around, but I wasn't sure you'd feel up for it. So…I brought dinner to you."

Jack turned and gestured for Sam to precede him into her dinning room. He smirked as she gasped in surprise. While Sam had been getting ready upstairs, Jack had been getting ready downstairs. The table had been sprinkled with rose petals and set with two elegant place settings. A large glass bowl filled with water sat as the center piece and several roses floated between flickering white candles.

"Oh Jack…It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it. Sit. I'll get the salads."

Jack pulled out Sam's chair and helped her get seated. In the kitchen he checked on the plates sitting in the oven to keep warm, and removed his suit jacket to get more comfortable, before taking two salad dishes and a bottle of wine from the counter and out to the dinning room. He set the food down and proceeded to open the wine and pour glasses for himself and Sam. Raising his glass he toasted Sam.

"To the most beautiful, intelligent, stubborn, and forgiving woman in the world, the woman I love. Thank you Samantha for everything, you have given me so much more than I deserve."

Sam tried to speak, but she couldn't form the words for tears running down her cheeks and the emotions choking her. Jack smiled and leaned over to kiss her briefly.

"And this is why I didn't want to do this in public. People would think I was breaking up with you or something," he teased as he brushed her tears away.

A little while later the tears stopped falling and Sam spoke.

"Jack…I…"

He stopped her words with his fingers on her lips.

"Later…let's just enjoy dinner first."

Sam's smile brightened as she noticeably shifted herself out of her serious mood.

"I'd rather enjoy you, but if that's what you want…"

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed to cover his immediate physical reaction to her words.

"You really are trying to kill me aren't you? Eat woman! You're going to need your strength for later if you keep this up."

* * *

Sam

Dinner was amazing: tender juicy steaks, crisp vegetables, fluffy rice, fine wine, and a smooth creamy chocolate mousse for desert. Happy and sated, Sam felt as if she could sleep for days, if only Jack would join her. Currently he was cleaning up some of the dishes, having refilled her wine glass and told her to stay put.

_I can't believe he's cleaning up now. Someone's grown up a bit. I could get used to this. We never really got to do this last time._

"Sooo…"

Jack walked in from the kitchen; the sleeves of his dress shirt unbuttoned and rolled up to reveal bare skin, and holding an envelope and a small wrapped box.

"I believe it is traditional to give gifts to those you love on Valentine's Day."

He placed the envelope on the table in front of Sam, but kept the box.

"I have something for you too Jack. I'll just go…"

"Open your card first."

Jack bounced nervously on the balls of his feet and passed the box back and forth between his hands, as Sam tore open the envelope.

_Why is he so nervous?_

"Aw! Very cute Jack."

The card wasn't flowery, lacey, or extravagant. In fact it looked rather like something a young child would choose. The caption under the bright, colorful cartoon of a patched heart read, 'You are the bandage that holds my heart together.' There was no picture inside, just the words, 'Please don't let it fall apart. Love, Jack.'

"Oh Jack!"

"I know it looks cheesy Samantha, but I mean it. I know you're wondering about this…"

Jack placed the small box in front of her. Sam picked up the box, marveling at the subtle pattern of the wrapping paper that evoked hearts, rings, and flowers. When her fingers began to slide under the tape holding the paper in place Jack stopped her by placing one of his large hands over hers. Sam looked up at him questioningly.

"Jack?"

"I gave you a box like this one once before and you accepted it and me completely. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life and threw it back in your face."

Jack took the object in question out of Sam's hands and set it back on the table.

"There's nothing in there because I was…afraid. I wasn't sure that you'd be ready for what I wanted to give you. I don't want to push you Samantha, but think of this as a promise. When you're ready, when we're both on the same page, I fully intend to ask you to marry me. I love you."

_How can he doubt my answer? Well you did freeze him out for five of the last six months…But I'm wearing his ring? Does he know that? And not the one you put on your hand today for the first time in years because Janet said to. Time to bite the bullet Samantha._

"I love you too Jack. I…this is going to sound so corny and rehearsed…The most common image for Valentine's Day is hearts and the dream is to have someone that you can give a piece of yours to in exchange for a piece of theirs. We made that exchange a long time ago and though I've questioned that decision over the years I've never changed my mind. But given the circumstances I think you might like to have this back."

Sam slid her hands up to the back of her neck and felt for the clasp of her necklace. Her fingers were shaking and she fumbled.

"Here, let me."

Jack's hands covered hers and he caressed them briefly before moving them out of the way and undoing the necklace. He moved the thin gold threads around in front of Sam and held them out for her to take. Jack placed his hands back on her shoulders, as Sam took hold of the ends of the necklace and lifted out and away from her body, pulling the chain from under the dress. The ring came free and the diamond glittered in the candlelight. Jack's grip on her shoulders tightened as he gave an involuntary gasp.

* * *

Jack

_That's her old engagement ring. She wants to give it back! But she was talking about love…_

Sam slid the ring off the chain and holding it in her palm she turned in her chair to face Jack. She held the ring up to him.

"I thought you might want to put this in your empty box. I don't want another ring. I've gotten rather attached to this one over the years."

Jack reached numbly for the ring, his brain still processing Sam's revelations.

_She doesn't want another ring? If she's attached to this one why is she giving it back to me? Wait, she said something about putting it in the box…she wants me to give this ring to her again? Sweet!_

"You always did have the best ideas."

Jack reached out and after laying the ring on the table he picked up the box. As he unwrapped the box he paused.

_Should I bother putting this in the box or should I just give it back to her? Should I just ask her now?_

Jack finished unwrapping the box, flipped it open, and placed the ring inside. Then he came around in front of Sam's chair. As he started to get down on his knees Sam stopped him,

"Jack…Wait…I have something else for you first. I've been…keeping track…of something for you."

Sam stood up and gesturing for Jack to take a seat she headed out of the room. Jack could hear a drawer slide open and the shut as Sam rustled around in, he assumed, her study.

_What on Earth is she looking for!_

Sam returned to the dinning room carrying a manila folder full of papers. She placed the folder on the table in front of him and pulled one of the other chairs over to sit next to him. Jack lightly fingered the top flap of the folder before flipping it open. On top was a glossy 8x10 of an obviously posed picture of a teenage girl.

_Who the hell is this?_

"Not long after Charlie's funeral Janet forwarded me a letter. It was from a ten year old girl had just had a heart transplant. It was addressed to 'the family who saved my life.' The letter thanked us for making the decision to donate Charlie's organs and told about what she planned to do with her new life. Jack, meet Julie Murphy."

_She looks so normal, so healthy. There's a lot of stuff in this folder._

"Samantha?"

"I wrote her back and we've been exchanging letters for the past five years. We've actually met in person a couple times even. She's a really good kid, but I'll leave you two to get acquainted."

Sam leaned over and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug before rising. She seemed to be unsure of his reaction and a little reluctant to leave as she stood behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders. Her hands wandered down over Jack's chest as she leaned forward to rest her chin on his shoulder. Sam's arms tightened briefly around Jack and she placed a quick kiss on his neck.

"I just wanted to show you that a part of Charlie was still alive. Give her a chance Jack. She may not be Charlie, but she's a pretty special kid."

Jack placed his hand atop Sam's and squeezed. Then she slipped away from him, leaving him alone with the evidence of his failure.

_No! It was not your fault that the other idiot was driving drunk. You did not fail Charlie. You did everything you could for him in the short time you had with him and you made the right decision in the end. And this girl's life is a direct result of that._

Jack started to leaf through the file, beginning with five years worth of photos.

* * *

Sam

_It's been two hours. I didn't think that there were that many letters. _

Placing the book she'd barely even turned the page of on a small table; Sam rose from the large stuffed chair in her bedroom and tip-toed downstairs. She peered around the corner into the dinning room. Jack sat quietly at the table staring blankly at one of Julie's letters.

_I wonder which letter that is…probably one of the anniversary ones. Those are always the...hardest. _

"Jack?" she whispered.

There was no response so Sam moved forward and sat back down on the chair next to Jack. When there was still no response she placed a hand lightly on his forearm and began stroking her fingers over his skin. He started and turned towards her. The tears trailing down his cheeks glimmered in the dim light. Jack reached over and drew Sam into a hug, pulling her onto his lap in the process. Clutching her tightly he whispered against her neck.

"Thank you. Thank you for keeping all of this. I love you so much Samantha. Marry me? Please. I promise I'll get it right this time."

"Yes."

**

* * *

A/N2: Finally. This one felt like it took forever. Happy Halloween!**


	12. Wedding Wishes

**The Collective Years  
****12: Wedding Wishes  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer: **See all the others.

**A/N: **Shorter, but sweet and sooner. Enjoy.

* * *

Sam

Sam stood in her childhood bedroom contemplating the elegant, old-fashioned, cream colored satin dress, with its square neckline, thin straps, and full skirt. The only adornment on the dress was the long line of buttons down the back which trailed all the way from the low cut back to the dress's hem and camouflaged the set of tiny hooks used to fasten the dress.

_I can't believe Dad suggested this, or that he even knew where the dress was. But he was right. This is the perfect dress. I'm getting married tomorrow._

She flopped backwards onto her bed to stare at the ceiling.

_I'm getting married…Tomorrow! On New Year's Eve with a reception on my parents' space-heater lined, tent covered, rose petal bedecked patio! We just did Thanksgiving and Christmas! Forget last minute details I barely had time for important arrangements. Thank God for Catherine! How did I let Jack talk me into a New Year's wedding? Oh right, I'm a romantic sap and completely incapable of refusing him when it is important. Good thing he's the same way._

Sam smiled to herself and remembered exactly how she'd allowed Jack to maneuver her into this position. She'd been wearing Jack's rings again for about a month when the subject of wedding dates finally arose.

**oOo**

"Samantha?"

Jack's voice combined with the brush of his hand across her bare shoulder caused Sam to roll over onto her back and turn her head to look at him. She blinked sleepily.

"I'm sorry, were you asleep already?"

"Not quite. What's on your mind?"

"Never mind. We can talk about it another time."

Jack leaned forward and kissed Sam on the forehead. Then he shifted to lie flat on his back. Sam moved to follow him. She looked down at him and when he didn't meet her gaze she placed her hand on his cheek and pushed gently. Jack turned with the pressure of her hand.

"What's bothering you Jack?"

"I was just…"

Jack eyes closed and he sighed.

"I was just wondering when we were going to get married."

"Jack?"

"I don't want this to be a long engagement. We've known each other long enough to know that this is the right decision. I…don't want to wait anymore."

"Jack…when were you thinking?"

"This summer?"

"Do you have any idea how much time it takes to plan a wedding? There's no way I'm going to have time to plan a wedding during the semester. We haven't even talked about where the wedding's going to be. I just don't think summer would be possible."

Jack sighed.

"I know…it's just…I don't know…can we just forget I brought this up?"

"No, Jack, I can't just ignore this. Are you giving me a deadline?"

Jack jerked up straight in surprise, nearly knocking Sam off the bed.

"No! Shit, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I want to marry you Samantha, whenever you're ready. I would just prefer sooner to later."

"So if not this summer then…?"

"I've spent way too many years without you, mainly because I'm an idiot. It would make me so happy to be able to start next year out right…married to you."

"Oh Jack."

The discussion wasn't forgotten, but it was postponed as Sam pushed Jack down onto the bed and positioned herself across him to gain access to his mouth.

**oOo**

In the end they had decided to have the wedding back in their home town on a day that had always had special meaning to them. After spring finals Jack and Sam had taken a short trip back east to pick location for the ceremony and the reception. Jacob had volunteered to host the reception and Catherine had agreed to take care of the majority of the details such as the caterer and music and flowers. And now all the arrangements had been made, all the details attended to, and the big event was tomorrow.

"Sam? You need to get some sleep."

"And going downstairs to play with you, Cassie, Catherine, and Rosa is going to achieve that?"

Janet shrugged her shoulders.

"Well at least we'll know your not brooding."

"Brooding? Why would I be brooding the night before my wedding?"

"Maybe obsessing or worrying would be better words. Now, come play for a little while and we'll get you tired out enough to actually sleep."

"What are you guys doing down there?"

"Well we would be doing make-overs but that's for tomorrow. So we were thinking about doing a _Grease_ sing-along."

Sam rolled her eyes but conceded to Janet's manipulations and stood to follow her downstairs.

* * *

Jack

"Do I really have to? Come on guys, isn't this a bit much?"

"Jack, stop whining and put the damn blindfold on."

Mark waggled the strip of cloth at Jack, as they stood in the O'Neill's foyer with Teal'c and Daniel.

_I hate blindfolds. I can't believe they think this is necessary. I want to celebrate the fact that I'm getting married tomorrow, not bemoan the fact that I'm going to be tied to the same woman for the rest of my life._

"Indeed O'Neill this amount of complaining is unbecoming for a man of your age."

"Speaking of age, aren't we a bit old for this?"

"Jack, stop being a baby. It's the night before your wedding you're getting a Bachelor party. We have permission so just relax and go with it."

Jack rolled his eyes at Daniel.

"Fine. Fine. I can't believe you talked to Samantha about this."

Jack stepped closer to Mark and turned his back to allow himself to be fitted with the blindfold.

"We wanted you to have fun without worrying about Sam. Janet and Catherine have everything well in hand."

Mark looped the blindfold around Jack's forehead and tied it off tightly. He placed Jack's hands on Daniel's shoulders.

"All right guys, let's head out."

**oOo**

To Jack it felt as though they'd been in the car forever. At first there had been a sequence of short straight stretches between turns, but the majority of the drive had been spent driving on the same road.

_Where the heck are we going?_

"Guys, I'm starting to feel a little car sick. How much longer are we going to be driving?"

_Not really but if it gets me information…_

"Just a little bit longer Jack. We're getting off the highway now."

As Mark spoke Jack felt the car slow and drift to the right. They circled around for a few minutes but eventually they slowed, turned sharply and parked.

"Everybody out. Jack, keep those hands away from the blindfold."

_How did he know I was going to…oh right, he can see. I wonder where we are. It smells like the city, lots of people and cars._

"Okay Jack, any guesses? No?"

_It sounds like he's pouting. Who knew Carter could pout? Samantha does, in a very attractive manner, of course, but Mark?_

Hands reached out and pulled the blindfold down over Jack's face. Jack blinked as the bright lights of the Continental Airlines Arena parking lot shone in his face in sharp contrast to the previous darkness.

"Damn! Hockey game? Sweet! You guys are the best. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"You're welcome Jack. Come on, we're almost late because you bitched for so long before we left."

The guys walked across the parking lot and into the arena. Mark flashed his ID at the gate and a man came scurrying over to show them to their seats, right up against the glass directly across the rink from the Devils' bench.

**oOo**

The game had been amazing, close, low scoring, and well played, with just enough fights and hard hits to make it extra exciting. Jack had expected to head out to bar for a few drinks and then have an early night, but the same guy who had shown them to their seats returned at the end of the game and now Jack was walking into the team locker room with the guys trailing behind him.

_I should have known something more was up. After all they put my face up on the big board and there was a familiar name on that roster._

"Jack O'Neill! Now there's a name I never thought I'd hear again."

A shorter, broad, balding man still dressed in his jersey, greeted Jack with a hearty hug.

"Hey George. I can't believe I didn't make the connection right away. It's not as though Hammond's a common name, especially in hockey."

"I hear you're getting married tomorrow."

"To my sister of all people. I think you met her a couple of times George."

"Carter! Daniel, Teal'c, it's nice to see you all again."

Jack moved out of the way so that each of the guys could shake George's hand. Then introductions were made to the rest of the players still milling around in the locker room. After a few minutes of discussing the game, George interrupted.

"Well, I think the guys would like to get home, but if you're up for it we've got some skates for you to try out."

"Sweet!"

"So if you'll just suit up over here, we can get you out on the ice for a bit."

Jack followed George over to a small corner of the locker room. There was a pile of jerseys on the bench and four pairs of skates on the floor. George began handing out the jerseys.

"Jack, Carter these are for you. They've got your names and old numbers on them. Daniel, T, I wasn't sure what you guys would want so they're blank for now, but if you let me know I'll get them done and shipped to you within a few weeks."

Jack pulled on the jersey and kicking off his shoes he plopped down onto the bench to lace up.

_My friends are the best!_

* * *

Sam

_I hate alarms. Why is it still going off? _

Sam rolled over into a soft feminine body.

_Wha? That's not Jack. Who…oh right._

"Sorry Cassie. Will somebody shut of that damn alarm? Please!"

"Got it," mumbled Janet from the air-bed on Sam's floor.

Sam pushed herself up onto her forearms and peered over Cassie's prone body to look sleepily at Catherine and Janet, who were sharing the other bed.

"Morning gorgeous," grinned Catherine, wide awake. "Time to get up and get going. We've got a lot of things to do today before we get to the wedding."

Sam stuck her tongue out at Catherine and flopped back down on the bed with a huff.

_I don't wanna get up. There's plenty of time between now and 4 pm. I can sleep a little bit longer._

This time it was Cassie who spoke.

"What time is it?"

"Nine. We're supposed to be at the hair dresser at 10; then we're back here for makeup and photos. And then we need to be at the church by 2 to start getting everyone dressed."

"Thank you, wedding planner Carter."

"No problem, soon to be O'Neill."

Sam rolled her eyes and then rolled out of bed. She dragged a hand through her hair to move it out of her face.

"All right, I'm up, I'm up."

**oOo**

Several incredibly busy hours later Janet, Catherine, and Cassie were dressed and Sam was just about ready. Ignoring the constant motion of the photographer, Catherine and Cassie held the dress for Sam to step into and Janet began to hook Sam in. Cassie moved around behind to help out Janet, while Catherine lifted Sam's veil off of its hanger.

"Ready back there?"

"Just about, got it. Okay, there."

Janet and Cassie stepped back from Sam so Catherine could approach and slide the veil down onto her head.

"All set?"

"I think so."

"Something old?"

"The dress was my mom's."

"New?"

"Earrings."

"Borrowed?"

"The necklace is Jack's mom's."

"Blue?"

Sam merely smirked at Catherine. After all it had been her idea for Sam to wear a blue garter; Catherine had even helped pick it out. Catherine grinned back and then reached forward to make a final adjustment to the veil.

"Enough fussing Catherine. Let's go get these pictures over with. I hate photos," groused Cassie.

The Bridal Party headed out of the parlor room they'd commandeered and headed to the snow covered lawn in the back of the church to shiver through some outdoor photos.

* * *

Jack

Jack waited anxiously in the small windowless room off to the side of the sanctuary; catching occasional glances of Daniel or Teal'c or Mark as they helped seat people. The number of guests was relatively small; close friends, a few extended family members, and some people from the SGC. Everyone had been invited back to the reception at the Carters' but only those in the wedding were invited to stay through the New Year.

_We're actually going to do this! I'm getting married in a few minutes! Check that, I'm getting married now!_

The minister had stepped forward to stand in front of the alter and gestured for Jack to join him. Jack scanned the small crowd of guests as he walked out to stand at the end of the center aisle. Mark, Daniel, and Teal'c came to stand behind him. The string quartet began to play and the guests rose. Jack's parents were the first to appear in the doorway at the back of the sanctuary. They were followed by Cassie, Catherine, and Janet, each waiting until the previous bridesmaid was halfway down the aisle before they stepped forward. Then the music changed.

Jackie Carter, the flower girl, began to walk down the aisle, dropping a mix of red and white rose petals as she went. Following closely behind her was her brother Matt holding a small pillow with two rings tied on. Finally Sam stepped into view on Jacob's arm; light from the setting sun came in from the large windows behind her catching in her hair and reflecting off her dress to create a halo around her. Jack could do nothing other than stare at the beauty approaching him.

_I am so lucky!_

Jacob and Sam halted just before they reached Jack. Jacob turned to his daughter and lifted the veil away from her face and laid it behind her. He kissed Sam lightly on the forehead and turned to face the minister, tears in his eyes.

"Who presents this woman for marriage?"

"Her mother and I do," choked Jacob.

Sam turned and hugged her father tightly, whispering something that Jack couldn't quite hear. Then Jacob took her hand and placed it in Jack's.

"You screw this up again and I will hunt you down."

Jack bowed his head in acknowledgement and then Sam stepped up beside him and they turned to face the minister together to take their vows.

**

* * *

A/N: Yep I'm leaving this chapter here. I figure most of you have been to at least one wedding. As for me, I was in two in the same weekend this past summer and I'm sick of them. So I'm leaving the details of the remainder to you. I realize this chapter is shorter than the others in this particular story, but I wanted to get it out and I really didn't feel like writing the reception or the honeymoon. One more left to tie this into all the other stories in my little world. Reviews appreciated with many thanks.**


	13. Happy Anniversary

**The Collective Years  
****13: Happy Anniversary  
****PhDelicious**

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine. Nothing's changed since I started this.

**A/N:** I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this out. Thank you all for your patience. I actually broke my ankle two weeks ago. When I posted the previous chapter I was lying on the floor with my ankle elevated in serious pain, the same place I've spent much of the past two weeks. So I found it rather hard to concentrate enough to finish this up. Regardless here it is, though since I wrote myself into a corner I'm not sure it lives up to everything else. Enjoy.

* * *

Jack 

Jack was confused. The solid wood outer door to Sam's office was never closed. He knocked.

_Where is she? She knows we're supposed to be on the road in an hour._

There was only silence from behind the door. This time Jack pounded.

"She's not in there Jack."

"Huh?"

Jack spun around to see a mop of red hair sticking out from one of the offices across the hall.

_Who the heck is that? She looks familiar. She must be the new Post-Doc. Hailey? We were introduced last week._

"Thanks. Do you know where she is?"

"I think she said she was going to be working on integrating that new dialing program with the scope's old software. So, the observatory, I suppose."

"Thanks again. Hailey? Right?"

"Yes Sir. Have a good trip. Don't let her worry about the lab too much. I'll make sure it doesn't blow up while she's gone."

Jack nodded to the young woman.

_Young? Jack, she's only a few years younger than Samantha. And Samantha's years younger than you are. That makes her young and you old. Stop being so pessimistic Jack, you're not that old. Are you kidding O'Neill? You're over 40 years old. That's old to everyone under the age of 38. Stop bitching and go find Samantha. Otherwise you're going to miss your flight._

Jack headed out of the building, flipping open his cell phone and hitting one on the speed dial.

"Hi Gorgeous, yes I know I'm late. I'm almost done with this."

"What if I'd been someone else?"

"The caller ID wouldn't have shown 'Jack'."

"Well aren't you just a genius? Now get a move on it sexy. I'd rather not miss our flight."

While he was talking, Jack climbed into his truck and headed towards the observatory. A few minutes later he parked, exited the car and slipped into the building. He bypassed the front office and the main telescope room to head for the mainframe in the back. Sam was sitting with her back to him typing madly on a keyboard and cursing at the computer. Jack leaned over her shoulder and hit the escape key.

"Hey! I was working on that."

"And working very hard from what I saw, but you are supposed to be on vacation as of ten minutes ago. I bet you haven't even packed yet."

"But I need to finish this before I leave or the scope won't track properly."

"I'm sure Rosa will be able to figure it out. And I happen to know she plans to come in extra early before her session tonight to finish up. Now let's get you out of here before you get sucked back in."

"But I…"

"Nope."

Jack pulled Sam from her chair, spun her around and pushed her towards the door before shutting off the computer and following her out to the truck. Sam was still complaining.

"Damn it Jack! I work here. You can't just keep barging in here and dragging me out in some caveman act."

"Samantha, you work so many more hours than everyone else in your department that I'm sure nobody minds it when you actually take a break. As your husband, it is my job to make sure you have a life outside of this campus."

Jack held the door open for Sam.

"Now let's go."

* * *

Sam 

The short ride back to their house had lasted longer than Sam's annoyance at Jack's high handed manipulations. After all he was whisking her away for a two week vacation up at the cabin. Despite the fact that Sam packed as quickly as possible, shoving sweaters, fleece lined jeans, snow boots and other essentials into a large duffle, they still almost missed their flight. Only the fact that it was delayed because of the weather allowed them to make it in time. During the flight, Sam caught up on her sleep, she hadn't been sleeping well ever since the pregnancy test she'd taken earlier in the week had shown positive. But curled up against Jack, she drifted off before takeoff.

**oOo**

"Hey Sam are you feeling all right? You look paler than usual."

Startled, Sam jerked her attention away from the screensaver she hadn't realized she'd been staring at.

_What was that? Oh, busted._

"It's the middle of winter Hailey. I haven't been out in the sun for months, of course I'm pale."

"Yeah, but usually lack of sun doesn't result in a green tinge to the pale. And you've been running off to the restrooms rather frequently, especially in the mornings. I don't mean to stick my nose in it; I know I'm new here. I was just wondering if this was…"

"My usual behavior?"

Hailey had the grace to blush. She shrugged and gestured vaguely with her hands.

"You're very perceptive. I only realized what was going on this morning and Jack hasn't noticed yet."

"I probably wouldn't have noticed, but I'm the oldest of seven and my thesis advisor had her first while I was working for her. I've had plenty of practice recognizing the signs. So I guess you haven't taken a test yet?"

"I bought one on the way in this morning but I haven't really had the chance."

"Do you want to do it alone? I could call Rosa?"

"That's all right Hailey. I think it's a rather forgone conclusion at this point. I'll go do it myself. I'm supposed to be briefing our two new undergraduate researchers in a few minutes. Please start without me if I'm not back before they arrive."

"No problem. My simulations won't finish running until this afternoon."

"Thanks."

**oOo**

The drive from the airport up to the cabin took longer than usual as the roads were snow-covered and the driveway was nearly impassable.

_Good thing Jack remembered to get a plow attachment this time. Calling the tow truck to come pull the truck out of the drift last time was so embarrassing, not to mention all the time we wasted. The chimney's already smoking. Jack must have remembered to call Mrs. O'Malley. Thank God! The cabin will be warmed up already._

Light from the headlights reflected off the falling snow as Jack pulled the up alongside the cabin's front porch, making sure that the snow being carried by the plow blade piled up away from the walk.

"Wait here. I'll get the bags and make sure the cabin's warmer than the car."

Jack hopped out of the truck and reached behind his seat to heft their duffels over his shoulders before trudging into the cabin. He came back a few moments later and opened Sam's door for her.

"Looks like we're all set. After you Mrs. O'Neill."

Jack stepped back and Sam slid out of the truck. Even stepping in Jack's tracks the snow almost came up over her boots.

"Why did we come up to Minnesota in the middle of winter on vacation again?"

"Because you said something about a certain fantasy of yours, being snowed in…"

"Remind me not to give you ideas from now on."

"You mean you don't want to get busy on the old bear skin rug in front of the fire place?"

"I didn't say that."

"And out in the ice fishing shack? We can pretend we're camping somewhere exotic like the Artic circle."

"That's pushing it."

Sam trudged past Jack, adjusting her stride to try to stay within his boot-prints. Jack strode past her and stomped up the stairs, trying to knock some of the snow off his boots. By the time Sam made it up the steps to the front door Jack had finished dusting himself off. Then he turned his attention to making sure she was snow free before disappearing into the cabin.

_Jack must be tired. He didn't even turn on any of the lights when he went in._

The heat radiating from the cabin doorway drew Sam inside. Following Jack's example she stopped just inside the door and struggled out of her boots. Her parka landed on the back of the couch as she peered around the darkened cabin.

_Guess he's in the bedroom. It has been a long day._

Sam headed towards the softly glowing bedroom door. As she pushed it open a smile broke across her face. Jack was sprawled face down on the large bed, his legs hanging awkwardly over the edge, their bags on the floor near his feet. The bedroom was actually being lit by the faint light of a moon shaped nightlight in the attached bathroom. Sam stepped forward and pulled the duffels away from the bed. Then she pulled her top two layers over her head before sitting down next to Jack. Her hand drifted down and stroked Jack's hair back from his forehead.

"Jack, you can't sleep like that. Come on; let's get you out of some of these clothes."

With a groan Jack rolled over onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Do I hafta?"

Sam rolled her eyes as Jack smirked.

"Nope, just don't expect me to snuggle. That sweater's scratchy."

Sam wriggled out of her jeans and after turning down the covers, she rolled herself into the far side of the bed, with her back to Jack. He sighed.

"Fine, fine."

Sam felt the bed shift as Jack removed the sweater in question and his pants before he slid under the covers and spooned up behind her.

"Do you remember the first time you brought me up here?"

"For our honeymoon?"

"Yeah, I thought you were crazy at first, insisting we come up here in the middle of winter instead of going on a traditional honeymoon."

"I had a feeling you'd love it up here."

"And I did; I do. It felt like I was coming home. I'd dreamt about this place for years."

"You dreamt about the cabin?" mumbled Jack.

"Yeah, it freaked me out a little to be dreaming of a place that I'd never been and that you never really talked about, at least not about the cabin itself. But I knew which turn you were going to take off the highway and what the cabin was going to look like before we pulled up."

Sam stopped talking as she realized that Jack had fallen asleep. She smiled to herself, remembering their first trip up to the cabin.

**oOo**

They'd almost missed their flight up to Minnesota that first time too. Back then it had been Jack's fault; after all he'd been the one to wake her up repeatedly the night after their wedding for mind blowing sex. So Sam hadn't been particularly inclined to listen to Jack when he'd tried to hustle her out of their hotel suite that morning.

"Samantha, stop honey. We're going to miss the plane."

Jack tugged at Sam's shoulders trying to pull her up and away from his naked body. Sam's response was muffled against his upper thigh. Jack gave up as Sam's tongue stroked wetly over his hip and his eyes rolled back in pleasure.

**oOo**

He'd gotten his revenge during the flight when his boredom had led him to begin tracing patterns on Sam's thigh. She hadn't protested until his fingers began to brush along the rise of her jeans.

"Jack."

Sam looked around nervously as the pressure of his touch increased.

"Jack!"

Sam grabbed Jack's wrist and squeezed, without looking up from the book she was reading. Jack leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"I thought you liked to be distracted while flying. Just relax Samantha. There's nobody within three rows of us."

Relenting Sam took down her tray table and shifted slightly, opening her legs to his touch, while pretending to continue to read.

**oOo**

The truck rumbled through the snowy woods as Jack rambled on about his summer trips up to the cabin to visit his grandfather.

"I don't think we're going to be doing much fishing this trip."

"Ice fishing can be lots of fun."

"I was thinking we could come up with some much more entertaining activities," Sam replied turning to smile saucily at Jack.

Jack turned to look at her quickly and he smiled at the glint in her eyes.

"I'm sure we can come up with something between us."

The small dirt driveway curved sharply and the truck skidded briefly. When the tires caught again Sam looked up in relief and drew in a sharp breath at the cabin in front of her.

_I know this place. I've dreamed of sitting on that dock in the spring alongside Jack, waiting for Daniel and Teal'c. _

"Well, here we are."

Jack parked and came around to help Sam out. He took her hand and led her up onto the front porch. He used his free hands to unlock the door and open it. Sam started to enter the cabin but Jack tugged on their joined hands pulling her back into his arms.

"Will you let me do something right?"

Jack kissed Sam lightly and when she wound her arms around his neck he slid his hands down over her butt and lifted her against him. Deepening the kiss, Sam complied with Jack's silent demand by pulling herself up on him and wrapping her legs around his waist. Jack stepped forward and crossed the threshold of the cabin. Sam's breath washed over Jack's cheek as he broke the kiss.

"Hey Mrs. O'Neill"

"Hey yourself, Mr. O'Neill"

"I should go bring the bags in. Make yourself at home."

Sam sagged briefly against the wall before pushing herself up to wander the cabin. The small entry way opened into a large grand room.

_The kitchen's over there and the bedrooms are off that way. How do I know that? Well it's not like this is a huge place._

Sam wandered into the kitchen and began filling the teapot she found in the first cabinet she opened. She hummed while she waited pulling two mugs from a second cabinet and box of tea bags and some instant coffee from a drawer.

_How did I know where everything was? If I didn't know any better I'd swear I'd been here before. Guess I've just known Jack long enough to know how he thinks. A place for everything and everything in its place. I wonder if it's a military training thing._

"Samantha?"

"In the kitchen, Jack."

Jack came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Sam from behind. He nuzzled his nose against her neck.

"Wasn't there something else you wanted to be doing?" he asked, placing a string of kisses along the column of Sam's throat from the collar of her shirt to just below her ear.

"Hmm?"

Jack's laughter was low and smug. His hands slipped under her top and caressed the smooth skin of her stomach and Sam shivered at the cool touch.

"I think its time for bed."

"Isn't it a little early in the day for that?"

"It's never too early for sex."

Jack had smirked and turned towards the bedroom. Sam had barely remembered to turn off the burner under the teapot before hurrying after him.

**oOo**

_How times change. It's only been five years but all either of us wanted to do when we got here tonight was sleep. Still, we'll make it up to each other tomorrow. And then I have to tell him I'm pregnant. We've never talked about having kids. Before Charlie I wasn't ready and afterwards there wasn't time. I didn't really think about it when we first got back together but now…what if he doesn't want to have kids?_

Sam shifted restlessly, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling. Jack moved to rest his head on her shoulder.

"Does your brain ever stop running? Go to sleep. Otherwise I'm going to start feeling bad for falling asleep on you."

Sam smiled and leaned down to press a kiss against the top of Jack's head. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Good night Jack. Happy Anniversary!"

**

* * *

A/N2: **This is the night before the morning described in the final chapter of 'The Holidays' and Chapter 6 of 'The Explanation' and the end of this journey. To my most vocal reviewers: SpaceMonkey67, Bookworm37, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, "Thank you for your encouragement." I'm not sure I would have made it through the entirety of this monster without you. For anyone who hasn't read the rest of this little series yet, I promise the whole story is out there just a little out of order. I don't have my next story planned yet, but I promise you haven't heard the last of me yet. Peace. 


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